Truth or Comfort

I have a prayer. Before I tell you what I am praying for myself though I need to explain the background.

For the last year I have been intrigued by our ability to lie to ourselves. I have seen some people blissfully remain in their own fabrication of reality (in which of course they successful, needed, wise, informed etc.), with no apparent intention to find "truth." For example, take a debate between Allister McGrath (a leading Christian apologist) and Christopher Hitchens (a leading atheist apologist. I can guarantee you that 9 times out of ten, regardless of which debater "won," both Christians and Atheists will leave more sure of their previous beliefs.

Another example. I have never met someone that thought they were a below average teacher. However we could all attest to the fact that not only would logic demand there be many such teachers, but we have all suffered through their classes at one point.

Last example. I have never met a worker come off the "field" and say "I blew it." I could have done more. I could have adapted better, I was selfish, and a burden to those I worked with. However from this side I can see that some in all honesty would qualify as the proverbial "John Mark." These people have no idea though. They will return to their homes, and churches, and friends and accept all the praise and honor due to the most seasoned worker.

I have asked why is this? How can I be sure I am not self deceived. I initially thought I would pursue fellowship and community in an effort to prevent it. However I have seen people that are only able to remain self deceived with the help of "community." (this is how we can all leave an unproductive meeting excited at what we "accomplished").

Here is what I have concluded. We love comfort more than truth. We all do it. And if we love comfort more than truth we will gladly sacrifice truth for it.

I do want to be clear that this is something we all do. I am not writing this thinking of one person or situation. It is something I have seen in my own heart. When someone annoys me I can walk away and let that seed of irritation grow into some huge scenario completely devoid of truth and severed from reality, but in which, to my delight, I am justified in my irritation.

So my prayer. "Lord cause me to love truth more than comfort. Cause me to think rightly of myself and the world around me." I have a growing respect for those ahead of me that I see are doing this [increasingly difficult task] well

Some books I am reading on this:
Miroslav Volf "The End of Memory. Remembering Rightly in a Violent World"
Gregg A. Ten Elshof "I Told Me So. Self Deception and the Christian Life."

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