Truth or Comfort

I have a prayer. Before I tell you what I am praying for myself though I need to explain the background.

For the last year I have been intrigued by our ability to lie to ourselves. I have seen some people blissfully remain in their own fabrication of reality (in which of course they successful, needed, wise, informed etc.), with no apparent intention to find "truth." For example, take a debate between Allister McGrath (a leading Christian apologist) and Christopher Hitchens (a leading atheist apologist. I can guarantee you that 9 times out of ten, regardless of which debater "won," both Christians and Atheists will leave more sure of their previous beliefs.

Another example. I have never met someone that thought they were a below average teacher. However we could all attest to the fact that not only would logic demand there be many such teachers, but we have all suffered through their classes at one point.

Last example. I have never met a worker come off the "field" and say "I blew it." I could have done more. I could have adapted better, I was selfish, and a burden to those I worked with. However from this side I can see that some in all honesty would qualify as the proverbial "John Mark." These people have no idea though. They will return to their homes, and churches, and friends and accept all the praise and honor due to the most seasoned worker.

I have asked why is this? How can I be sure I am not self deceived. I initially thought I would pursue fellowship and community in an effort to prevent it. However I have seen people that are only able to remain self deceived with the help of "community." (this is how we can all leave an unproductive meeting excited at what we "accomplished").

Here is what I have concluded. We love comfort more than truth. We all do it. And if we love comfort more than truth we will gladly sacrifice truth for it.

I do want to be clear that this is something we all do. I am not writing this thinking of one person or situation. It is something I have seen in my own heart. When someone annoys me I can walk away and let that seed of irritation grow into some huge scenario completely devoid of truth and severed from reality, but in which, to my delight, I am justified in my irritation.

So my prayer. "Lord cause me to love truth more than comfort. Cause me to think rightly of myself and the world around me." I have a growing respect for those ahead of me that I see are doing this [increasingly difficult task] well

Some books I am reading on this:
Miroslav Volf "The End of Memory. Remembering Rightly in a Violent World"
Gregg A. Ten Elshof "I Told Me So. Self Deception and the Christian Life."

r

Back!

Although travel has become increasingly accessible over the last few decades it is still taxing. Even more taxing still is traveling on a budget. This is where I find myself.

I flew out of Los Angeles at 7 am on monday morning. Said goodbye to the city that can rivals all others in both "green consciousness" and pollution and made my way to Atlanta. I spent only a few hours in Atlanta, the majority of which was trying to get access to my bag that had been checked through to Johannesburg. I had planned to carry the bag on, but at the last minute they made me check it. I had over $200 in it, and the keys to my apartment- both of which I was sure would be stolen in Johannesburg (they were). Long story short they would not let me get it. So I took off my belt, shoes, hoodie, ipod, removed my phone, change, opened my bag, removed my laptop and waited in line to go through security (again). I flew out of Atlanta Monday evening, arriving in Johannesburg over 15 flying hours later (not including time change). The entire flight I just wanted to be in India. I didnt want to read, or watch a movie, or sleep- I just wanted to be in India. Unfortunately for me, this didnt speed up the flight.

Half way through as I was staring off into space a woman in front of me passed out and fell down in the aisle. I looked around and everyone was asleep and the flight attendants were in the back. I didn't really think much, I just unbuckled, knocked my "personal t.v." to the side, nearly tripped over the blanket and dropped the books and ipod that were in my lap before reaching her (10 feet from me). As I got to her I realized "oh crap, I have no idea what to do," so i did the only thing I could remember from first aid/CPR class 5 years ago- ask her if she can hear me. She could and thankfully thats when someone intelligent came up and I could sink back to the haven of my media induced coma.

I arrived in Johannesburg and had a 6 hour layover. In line I met a guy my age named Omar. He was a malay guy who was getting his masters degree in Islamic Studies in Durban. Cool kid, very devout muslim, good talk. From there I flew to Doha Qatar where I endured a riveting 14 hour layover. At one point I fell asleep in a chair with my cheek pressed up against the abnormally high armrest. I woke up literally 8 hours later. I had actually some how cut the inside of my cheek with my teeth while I was asleep and had a huge sore inside (there is still an incision I strangely enough feel the need to stick my tongue in from time to time).

From there got on the most "culturally charged" flight of my journey. Doha to Hyderabad. This flight was quite chaotic as most of the people did not see the need to sit in their assigned seats. They figured we should function on a first come first serve basis. This lead to making the (tiny) aisle walk way a 2-way street. good times. I landed, and got home at 5 am today (thursday). It is now 11:37 am and I am ready for bed.

All that to say- I made it. I am back [finally]. If I was made of cash I would have flown direct from the states, but... im not.

peace,


r