lift up your eyes the fields are white for harvest

i'm sorry

2011-01-31T00:02:00.002-05:00

I am finding myself saying these words more and more often.

Yesterday I went to a coffee shop in the city. It has free wifi and $1 cappuccinos. I pulled up and there was a giant septic semi truck sucking poo through a large pipe very loosely connected to a septic tank. I watched the pipe quiver and shake under it’s strenuous load and discerned that I should probably find another place to park (said pipe was spanning the motorcycle parking spots). So I pulled up in front of an adjacent shop. Before I even took my helmet off the owner came out telling me that if I wasn’t going to his shop I HAD to move. Clearly he had been through this routine before and the last remnant of his patience had been taken by the person before me.

I didn’t really know where else to go, and although I wasn’t in the least upset, I made a few sarcastic comments and told him to just let me park there- it would be fine. He wasn’t impressed. The sides of his mustache jumped as he pursed his lips and proceeded to make it very clear that I must move. I surrendered and moved my bike.

Paul calls us the “aroma of Christ,” saying that we “spread the fragrance of knowledge of him everywhere.” I am afraid to that shop owner I spread the fragrance of the poo truck chugging away next to me. As I walked away I realized that I had responded horribly and returned to apologize.

Here if you don’t speak up you won’t be heard. In many ways it is everyone for himself. There are so many people wanting so many things at the same time that unless you push (usually literally) you will never get on the bus, or you will never get you electricity bill paid, or you will be cheated out of a lot of money. I am not justifying my actions, but rather I am trying to figure out what it means to be “the aroma of christ” here.

Right now my internet company is trying to charge me nearly an extra $200 because of some mistakes they made on their end. My flat owner is holding back $40 from my deposit I gave him (20%). The man that serviced my motorcycle disconnected the headlight switch and charged me to fix the started but didn’t fix it. Dozens of people are asking to buy my stuff when I leave each of which wanting a special bargain (all of this is just this weekend). This isn’t abnormal, it is just life. It’s nothing personal- but my question is how do I put on display “the aroma of Christ” in each of these situations. At the risk of over simplifying I think it might be better to be wronged or cheated than to demand what I “deserve.”

Not really sure, just trying to figure out how to glorify Him. Unfortunately much of the time it is trial and error.

voila,

r

2 nations in 1

2011-01-18T03:17:00.003-05:00

Anyone that has any background with India will immediately tell you how complicated it is. Each state functions virtuously autonomously and proudly maintains its own unique culture. The cultural diversity that encompasses the entire continent of Europe is comparable the diversity within India.

However at the risk of oversimplifying the issue I am realizing more and more that India can primarily be divided into 2 very separate and very distinct nations. The privileged and the unprivileged.

The world is taking notice of India. Companies are shifting their efforts to tap into the supposed market of 1.3 billion people. However when 70% of the nation lives in villages, most without running water water and consistent electricity and 35% can't even sign their own name, the new billboards boasting of 3G networks might as well be in yiddish. When you live hand to mouth on just a few dollars a day the choice between Pepsi and Coke is an unfathomable luxury.

Frankly and sincerely, India has done a very bad job of educating and empowering the masses. This is why countries that got their independence at the same time (singapore, malaysia etc.) have far surpassed India. Even Korea whose economy was in shambles in the 60's has lapped India many times over when it comes to overall development.

The [growing] divide between between the privileged and the unprivileged is so great that the Prime Minster told the UN that it was on par with Apartheid. So when you read about how much India has developed understand it is a lopsided development. Although silicon valley is littered with top graduates from Indian universities, that is in no way an accurate representation of India.

India has done an excellent job portraying itself as a superpower (they even convinced Obama) so much so that the UN is considering giving them a permanent seat. But that development is only representative of 10% of the population.

India is growing fast. But I would submit that unless they make some significant changes-namely to empower the unprivileged they will never live up to the world's expectations.

for what its worth...

r

well hello monday, back so soon?

2011-01-16T23:42:00.000-05:00

I have known for sometime that there were mice living in my AC unit (directly above my bed). They would run around and squeak once in awhile but I wasn't sure what exactly to do so I just hoped that somehow the problem would fix itself.

This morning I woke up at 5:30. Aside from a life or death situation (preferably my own) there is no good reason to be awake at that hour. my reason? The mice were being exceptionally active and chatty. So Manglesh (my roommate) and I cleaned out my room and began to take the AC unit off the wall. Out came 2 bats and about 2 months worth of bat poo. One flew back in, while the other began squeaking and flying around our flat.

I like a total pansy jumped back shouted some choice words and took cover while Manglesh grabbed the broom and began chasing it.

After the bat issue had been somewhat solved (one more is still MIA) I went into the kitchen and found pigeon poo from where they flew in the open window, and water everywhere from where the water tank had overflowed.

I then decided to go back to sleep and try starting monday again in a few hours. I slept too late, threw on dirty (but not stinky) clothes, skipped a shower and forgot to brush my teeth before running out the door.

happy monday.

the gospel and thinking rightly

2011-01-15T09:18:00.001-05:00

This last year I have spent some time thinking about thinking rightly (self deception, wrong views of ourself and others around us etc). I posted some thoughts a few weeks back about our amazing ability to convince ourselves of whatever we really want at the time. For example whenever we re-live an argument we had with someone else we almost always come out the victor- even if we totally lost in reality.

We are fallen. As simple as it sounds I just noticed a few weeks ago that Romans 1 is in the past tense (Claiming to be wise we have become fools and God gave us up to a debased mind). It is not a future potential that if you keep sinning God will give you up (as I have usually been taught), but rather it already happened (I believe at the fall). Essentially our perception of the world around us, and even the nature of truth is subject to our desires. If we want to look good glorious and godly we will fabricate a world around us to that end. If we want truth, and Christ our mind will have no reason to create a false reality.

I have realized that this has everything to do with the Gospel. If we live in the reality that we are loved, forgiven, accepted and even seen as righteous by the only one whose opinion matters we no longer have any reason to twist truth to our own self glorifying end. If we live forgiven (not just know cognitively that we are) there will be no reason to downplay our faults. If we live as though we have his imputed righteousness there will be no reason to draw attention to our own accomplishments. The Gospel is the catalyst to thinking rightly about ourselves and the world around us. Apart from a gospel-centric world view a correct understanding of reality is I believe impossible.

anything intelligent said above was probably plagiarized from Al Mohler and Viv Thomas. I can’t remember where their thoughts end and mine began.

r

Busyness is the new spirituality

2011-01-15T08:57:00.001-05:00

It has been sometime since I have blogged. Why? Because I was busy.

My first semester in College I had the bright idea to take Dr. Boyd’s class. I knew he was one of the hardest professors in the department, but I saw it as a challenge. For the first exam I studied for 11 hours (straight) and made a D (the equivalent to less than 40 marks in british/asian grading scales- I think).

I learned something very important about myself though. I realized my goal in studying for so long was not just to learn the material, but to be busy. I felt very good about myself having studied for so long. I also realized that I had subtly told everyone I knew about my hard work so that they could join me in my awe of myself. On top of that, said exam was a Bible course naturally making me quite a spiritual and righteous person.

In contrast to my narcissism, I had a handful of classmates who were quite humble. They quietly studied in their room by themselves seeking to honor the the Lord with their time (in contrast to me who studied in the “lounge” with all my friends). They studied significantly less, did better on the exam and didn’t seek half the attention I did.

After college I worked at a direct marketing firm. I realized very quickly that the correct answer to how are you is always (or at least usually) “busy- how are you?” while communicating non-verbally that limited time was being allotted to this impromptu conversation. This worked perfectly for me because I had learned in college the art of busyness (which in christian circles equals or at least implies spirituality). I maintained a genuine feeling of busyness (sometimes rooted in reality, sometimes not) which made me feel quite valuable.

I look back at the last 2 months and find the same desire for busyness (in myself and others). It takes different forms in different contexts but the root is the same. We all tend to feel very good about ourselves if we are busy. But what I am realizing is God is not impressed. If we worked all 24 hours every single day- he would be as equally [un]impressed as if we did what we are doing now.

I have seen in my heart a desire to be busy to look spiritual and righteous (or at least feel that way). But this completely invalidates the Gospel. He came and died so that I could have his righteousness not my own filthy rags. He died and rose so that I rest and work as a result of his own righteousness imputed to my account- not the other way around. This is why Moses’ father in law said “what you are doing is not good,” why Mary “chose the better way,” and the church at Ephesus had “lost their first love.” (note here that God does not tell the church to stop doing anything but rather acknowledges their hard work and instructs them to start doing something).

There is nothing wrong with busyness. Frankly I would rather struggle with that than laziness. However God is not, and will never be impressed by it. I am beginning to believe more and more that busyness is the breeding ground for idolatry (someone smarter than me said that- but I can’t remember who). Ironically I have also found that when business becomes at least part of our aim our productivity goes down.

Just to be clear if I could do the last few busy months over I would do them exactly the same way. I would not loosen the schedule. But I would maintain constant prayer begging God to search my heart and reveal whether I was pursuing busyness, or his glory. Busyness should never be our aim. The kingdom should. If we are busy for that end that is one thing, but unconsciously pursuing busyness because we are too self deceived to acknowledge it is as profitable as running in circles.

Soli deo gloria

r

My first kiss went a little like this....

2010-11-14T14:57:00.002-05:00

I hate that song (for those that are fortunate enough to not know, the title to this post is a song). When I was in the states I was stunned not by the topic being sung about, but just the stupidity of the lyrics. Admit it. It’s stupid.

I have a lot of work to do. I am trying to finish it before Wednesday, and I am wondering if it will be possible to do so (my uncertainty is reinforced by the fact that I am blogging right now-not working...). So I came to a coffee shop in the city to focus and work but have found myself continually distracted by the stimulants around me.

Child labor. It breaks my heart and I see it every day. As I walked into the shop I was greeted by a 13 year old boy washing the glass door with a piece of old newspaper. He was working as a security guard. He is not in school, and at this rate can expect to remain in poverty forever.

The homeless. Homelessness is quite different here. Everywhere we are told don’t give money to the homeless- its harmful, doesn’t solve the problem etc. I believe there is a lot of truth in that but the man I claim to follow said “give to everyone who asks of you.” there are no caveats- give to everyone who asks of you. As I sat engrossed in my work I noticed a dirty 9 year old boy standing outside the glass window staring at those of us inside. We both knew he was separated by infinitely more than the half inch thick glass. He watched as we sipped our coffees, laughed, and enjoyed the cool AC. Jesus’ words surfaced immediately but before I could get up one of the workers opened the door to shew him away back into the street.

Music. The music is a conglomeration of western/bollywood/traditional[er] Indian. the speakers will throb with a popular flamboyant bollywood dance song only to be followed by “my first kiss...” (I don’t even know who the artist is who sings that song).

Customers. There are 2 girls sitting across from me having a great time laughing and talking. The man to my right keeps yelling “babu!!!” (literally “little brother”), just to make sure they still know he is in control. And I sit here working on a project to mobilize workers to come here.

The contrast between the songs from my country shaking the weary speakers, and the young boy standing outside looking in longingly stuns me. I wonder if this was the image Jesus had in mind when he told the parable of the wedding banquet.

A trip to the barber shop

2010-11-08T11:09:00.001-05:00

I am suffering from early onset balding. However I refuse to be a victim and I have decided to take control of my life and show my rebellious hair that I am still in control- by cutting it all off.

This has lead me to quite enjoy my trips to the barber shop. A hair cut and a shave cost right around $2 and have thus become a regular part of my schedule. Today I walked to the barber shop and because of the rain noticed some had left their shoes outside the door. I briefly examined the shoes and then pictured the feet that must have been wearing them. Such a mental picture was just enough to persuade me to [at least] tentatively keep mine on. I walked in and saw the owner, with his shoes on, reading todays Telugu paper. He didn’t seem to notice me so I kept wiping off my shoes on the mat louder and louder. It didn’t work so I cleared my throat. That also didn’t work. So I walked up to him and said “hello. Sir. Yes. I want a hair cut.” This invasion of his personal space got me little more than an exhale out of his nostrils. But I refused to be deterred and began to walk toward the chair. This did the job. He sat up and shouted, “VISHNU!!!!!”

Vishnu is the gentleman that usually cuts my hair. He poked his head out of a back room, and upon seeing me was overcome with what seemed like happiness (or maybe hope for a big tip, but I will tell myself the previous). He was barefoot, wearing slacks and a fluorescent orange polo shirt and assumed the jumping jack position (arms and legs out in 4 different directions). In spite of such an entry still the first thing I notice about him every time is his mustache. It is fair to say that such a mustache could make any man second guess his ability to grow facial hair. Some times I catch myself looking at it instead of his eyes wondering if it could be his own “magic hat” from which he pulls a white rabbit.

He knows my routine, so he immediately set to work. I find haircuts incredibly relaxing, so it is not uncommon for me to close my eyes and begin to doze off. This time I was jolted out of my stupor by a pair of his scissors up my nose. Apparently while trimming my own meager mustache he noticed a few nose hairs. He set to work on those as well with the fervor of a mad lumberjack.

After this he looks at me in the mirror and asks “oil massage?” Of course I couldn’t turn down such an offer (to be fair I thought he meant head massage), and replied in the affirmative. He removed a small bottle of red something from the shelf and lubed up my freshly shaved head until it resembled a greasy ball bearing. This time he got “in the zone” and exceeded all previously set “norms.” He cracked every bone in my neck, back, arms and hands. I have never felt so “loose” (don’t take that out of context) in all my life. I paid the $2.50 for my hair cut and shave, and $1 for the 15 minute massage. Honestly, where else in the world could you get all that for less than $4?

As I walked home I stopped by Satish’s shop. He knows me and lets me keep a tab with him. I paid my previous tab and bought a dozen eggs and some onions. Satish is a smoker and was attacked by his angry lungs as he held my groceries. I took my freshly garnished goods consoling myself with the fact that eggs have shells and onions skin.

This was normal, and I love it. Nowhere else could you experience so much with so little money. Welcome to my life.

Incredible India.

r

Diwali!

2010-11-04T01:33:00.001-04:00

Diwali (dee-val-ee)

I think Diwali might be the happiest time of the year here. The debilitating heat of summer is fading into little more than a memory with temperatures in the mid 70’s every day. Night temperatures dip into what could certainly be considered “cold” or at least “chilly.”

Diwali is called The Festival of Lights. Although certainly true, practically speaking this is not the first descriptor that comes to my mind. I would name it “The Festival of Explosions.”

As I drove in from the city today I swerved around conspicuously placed advertisements for fireworks, each of which proclaimed itself “BEST IN THE WORLD.” At one intersection there was a life size version of Big Foot wielding a sub machine gun. Happy holidays.

Now technically Diwali lasts for 10 days, but it all culminates with a big bang tomorrow evening. People will set candles outside their doors leave gifts of food and trinkets for their favored gods in their domestic shrines. In addition they will paint ornate multi-colored murals all over the ground. At one large bookstore after ascending on the escalator you are greeted with such a flamboyant piece of art. Although certainly beautiful I wasn’t really sure if I should walk on it, or tip toe around it (I chose the latter, I may have been the only one, I don’t know). One of my neighbors will pay homage to the resident ant mound and offer both a mural, and gifts to the ants.

Now my flat (apartment) sits behind 2 restaurants both of which are open very late. Most of the firecrackers will be detonated in the earlier evening, however the employees at said restaurants never want to miss out on the fun and will begin their own celebration around 3am. Beneath my window.

I really enjoyed Diwali last year. With a complete absence of [enforced] laws regarding such explosions the whole city turned into a party of some form. Small children threw strings of firecrackers at busses and cars before running away laughing into their parent’s arms. People filled the streets (during traffic) seeing how long the wick would last before releasing their perfectly timed experiment. I expect this can become a journalist’s thanksgiving as the next day’s paper seemed to be littered with stories of festivities gone awry.

Diwali is tomorrow. boom.

r

kindness V.S. firmness

2010-11-03T03:15:00.002-04:00

One of the fascinating things I have seen are disagreements. It is quite normal for people to yell, scream and insult the other (who is clearly the one in the wrong) in almost a vocal wrestling match. Both parties will flex their power and the first one to tap out must clearly be in the wrong.

Now to be honest it is nothing personal. Both people can walk away from a “heated” tussle completely unfazed and at the next meeting pretend as if they were natural born blood brothers.

I can’t do that. I am not a yeller. And I don’t really care to engage in a race to see who is most powerful. However the problem for me has been that sometimes, people do not plan to respond apart from intimidation. That isn’t meant to sound offensive. It is the simple fact that the people here have significantly thicker skin than me. Thats all.

A story.

I have a MacBook. I love it. it is pretty bare-bones and I quickly filled up my hard drive with important things like music and movies. So i looked at upgrading to a 500GB hard drive. I was quoted at just over $100 including installation. I thought WOOHOO! The drive had to be ordered and 2 days before installation I found out that the Mac store was putting in a Singaporean one that he promised* was just as good as MAC. Maybe. I was skeptical, but what put me over the edge was I knew that would invalidate my warranty. So I said no. Return it. I want my money back. I didn’t raise my voice, I didn’t yell, I wasn’t even that angry. He refused, said it was impossible. No refund. Ever.

So I drove to his office and sat down with him. I told him that I was not aware he was putting in a different brand, and the consequences of it, and that I refused (this would be rude at home) to pay for it. that I needed all my money back in cash (I paid with card). He called his supervisor, and we 3 talked. I told the supervisor how good a job his technician had done in the past, I didn’t blame him for anything, but that I was in a dilemma and how could we fix it. That changed everything. Not only was there NO tension, yelling, or shows of power, but relationships were made stronger and I was refunded my $100 cash in less than 24 hours. The same thing in another culture handled that way could have been a fiasco of rudeness.

This was an example of it going well. It hasn’t always ended so happy, but that has been my benchmark. I am finding that I have to be much much firmer that I am used to, which in my black and white thinking is mutually exclusive of kindness, compassion, forgiveness and love, but I am learning to hold both- kindness and firmness.

its a process. enjoy it.

r

Gestures

2010-11-03T02:23:00.002-04:00

They say that communication is 90% body language. But I wonder if the body language of the one to coin the phrase said “I am lying.” Remember what crossing your fingers meant when you were a kid? Regardless, I certainly agree that a significant amount of communication is with your body. I also believe that Indians are far better than me at this. Here are a few of the gestures that I have learned.

the bobble head- Made famous by the tacky dashboard ornament in your first car. Here it is similar. It looks like you are trying to touch your ears to your neck, but not in a rigid side to side movement. More of a flowing loosening your neck movement. This simply means “I acknowledge that words are coming out of your mouth.” It does not mean yes, or no, or I agree, or even that I am listening to you. I just means "I see that you are talking right now." If you want some clarification, an accented “no?” on the end of your sentence will suffice. If the other party agrees he/she will tell you, if they do not agree, don't understand or weren’t listening you will get another bobble head. Occasionally I have switched to spanish in the middle of my sentence. If they respond with a bobble head I know they don't understand or aren't listening.

the raised pinky- If you make a fist raise it parallel with your shoulder, and stick your pinky straight out, as conspicuously as possible. The means “I have to pee.” technically the 2 fingers (pointer and middle) means I have to poop, but I have never seen that used. In the day to day the raised pinky suffices for both.

the wrist of fatalism- This is my favorite. Start with your forearm perpendicular to your body (elbow bent at 90 degrees) palm facing down. Then quickly rotate the wrist until the palm faces up. During the rotation though the pinky and ring finger should be brought in, and the other 3 left out. This is technically is followed by the phrase “what to do?” (except the words sound more like “watudu”), but often the words are left out. This can mean many things. Everything from I don’t know/care to you can pee wherever you want. If you are asking someone a question and are answered by the wrist flick you are free to proceed however you would like.

Drinking hand- This is tricky and I have messed it up a few times. You raise your hand to your mouth as if holding an invisible glass. As it gets close to the mouth you shake the hand. This literally means Drink? Depending on the context it can be do you wanna get a coke with me? or would you like some water? or did you have something to drink? However if the pinky finger begins to inch its way out from the other 3 the gesture will take on a new meaning. Said motion with an extended pinky means “shall we get a beer?” The extended pinky means the drinking will be exclusively alcoholic. Now I work in a very conservative organization, and going up to someone during working hours and gesturing “do you want a beer?” when I mean to say “do you want to go to the canteen and get a soda with me” can be a serious problem.

The flashing hands- Extend one hand (preferably the dominant one) and bring all 5 fingers to a point facing in front of you. Then open (not quite fully though) and close your hand a number of times. People on the road were doing this to me for a week before I had any clue. In brazil this means there are too many people on the bike, and my brazilian friends were completely lost (it is not uncommon to see 4-6 people on a motorcycle). It really only means that your lights are on. It is funny to me because many other abnormal things (cows in the road, people driving into oncoming traffic, pimped auto rickshaws etc.) don’t even receive a second glance. However if your head lights are on that is just over the top, you can be sure you will be corrected.

Hand over the bump- raise your hand to head level and move it in a 1 foot wide semi circle. This means next. Usually used in the context of directions, but that isn’t a hard and fast rule.

The wiggly why- Begin with your forearm outstretched perpendicular to your body (similar to the wrist of fatalism above). Your palm (if you are using your right hand) facing to the left. Open your fingers a bit and and wiggle the wrist. Wiggle as if having a pole running through the forearm into the tip of the middle finger around which the hand is rotating/wiggling. This is best translated as ?. As the recipient it is your responsibility to know what the question is and how to answer it. I like this one also because if I am distributing the wiggly why the burden of communication completely put on the other person.

Invisible sweaty brow- fairly simple as well. bring all fingers to a point and touch to the forehead. Then throw them down as if discarding a sweaty rag. This means “finished” with the implication of “good riddance,” or “I am through with this/that.”

the 5 minute pinch- bring all 5 fingers to a point. Make sure the point is facing directly up to the ceiling and then tap your thumb against the other 4. This literally means “5 more minutes.” However 5 more minutes means “I need more time.” More time could be anything from 30 seconds (it almost never is) to 1 more month. As the recepient it is your responsibility to understand the increments being discussed (seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks etc.)

For example:

Approaching the restaurant:

Security guard: Flashing hands
Me: bobble head.

Enter the restaurant

Me- point to a table
Server- bobble head.

I sit down

Me: Drinking hand
Server: drinking with raised pinky and raised eyebrows (implying question)
Me: exaggerated frown.
Server: bobble head. 5 minute pinch.

Server brings water.

Me: raised pinky
Server: Wrist of fatalism
Me: Wiggly why (meaning I can’t pee here at this table)
Server: Hand over the bump (motioning toward an adjacent open field).

Returning back from the field to sit down

Me. Invisible sweaty brow

Enjoy meal.

;)

Truth or Comfort

2010-10-17T09:54:00.002-04:00

I have a prayer. Before I tell you what I am praying for myself though I need to explain the background.

For the last year I have been intrigued by our ability to lie to ourselves. I have seen some people blissfully remain in their own fabrication of reality (in which of course they successful, needed, wise, informed etc.), with no apparent intention to find "truth." For example, take a debate between Allister McGrath (a leading Christian apologist) and Christopher Hitchens (a leading atheist apologist. I can guarantee you that 9 times out of ten, regardless of which debater "won," both Christians and Atheists will leave more sure of their previous beliefs.

Another example. I have never met someone that thought they were a below average teacher. However we could all attest to the fact that not only would logic demand there be many such teachers, but we have all suffered through their classes at one point.

Last example. I have never met a worker come off the "field" and say "I blew it." I could have done more. I could have adapted better, I was selfish, and a burden to those I worked with. However from this side I can see that some in all honesty would qualify as the proverbial "John Mark." These people have no idea though. They will return to their homes, and churches, and friends and accept all the praise and honor due to the most seasoned worker.

I have asked why is this? How can I be sure I am not self deceived. I initially thought I would pursue fellowship and community in an effort to prevent it. However I have seen people that are only able to remain self deceived with the help of "community." (this is how we can all leave an unproductive meeting excited at what we "accomplished").

Here is what I have concluded. We love comfort more than truth. We all do it. And if we love comfort more than truth we will gladly sacrifice truth for it.

I do want to be clear that this is something we all do. I am not writing this thinking of one person or situation. It is something I have seen in my own heart. When someone annoys me I can walk away and let that seed of irritation grow into some huge scenario completely devoid of truth and severed from reality, but in which, to my delight, I am justified in my irritation.

So my prayer. "Lord cause me to love truth more than comfort. Cause me to think rightly of myself and the world around me." I have a growing respect for those ahead of me that I see are doing this [increasingly difficult task] well

Some books I am reading on this:
Miroslav Volf "The End of Memory. Remembering Rightly in a Violent World"
Gregg A. Ten Elshof "I Told Me So. Self Deception and the Christian Life."

r

Back!

2010-10-07T01:45:00.002-04:00

Although travel has become increasingly accessible over the last few decades it is still taxing. Even more taxing still is traveling on a budget. This is where I find myself.

I flew out of Los Angeles at 7 am on monday morning. Said goodbye to the city that can rivals all others in both "green consciousness" and pollution and made my way to Atlanta. I spent only a few hours in Atlanta, the majority of which was trying to get access to my bag that had been checked through to Johannesburg. I had planned to carry the bag on, but at the last minute they made me check it. I had over $200 in it, and the keys to my apartment- both of which I was sure would be stolen in Johannesburg (they were). Long story short they would not let me get it. So I took off my belt, shoes, hoodie, ipod, removed my phone, change, opened my bag, removed my laptop and waited in line to go through security (again). I flew out of Atlanta Monday evening, arriving in Johannesburg over 15 flying hours later (not including time change). The entire flight I just wanted to be in India. I didnt want to read, or watch a movie, or sleep- I just wanted to be in India. Unfortunately for me, this didnt speed up the flight.

Half way through as I was staring off into space a woman in front of me passed out and fell down in the aisle. I looked around and everyone was asleep and the flight attendants were in the back. I didn't really think much, I just unbuckled, knocked my "personal t.v." to the side, nearly tripped over the blanket and dropped the books and ipod that were in my lap before reaching her (10 feet from me). As I got to her I realized "oh crap, I have no idea what to do," so i did the only thing I could remember from first aid/CPR class 5 years ago- ask her if she can hear me. She could and thankfully thats when someone intelligent came up and I could sink back to the haven of my media induced coma.

I arrived in Johannesburg and had a 6 hour layover. In line I met a guy my age named Omar. He was a malay guy who was getting his masters degree in Islamic Studies in Durban. Cool kid, very devout muslim, good talk. From there I flew to Doha Qatar where I endured a riveting 14 hour layover. At one point I fell asleep in a chair with my cheek pressed up against the abnormally high armrest. I woke up literally 8 hours later. I had actually some how cut the inside of my cheek with my teeth while I was asleep and had a huge sore inside (there is still an incision I strangely enough feel the need to stick my tongue in from time to time).

From there got on the most "culturally charged" flight of my journey. Doha to Hyderabad. This flight was quite chaotic as most of the people did not see the need to sit in their assigned seats. They figured we should function on a first come first serve basis. This lead to making the (tiny) aisle walk way a 2-way street. good times. I landed, and got home at 5 am today (thursday). It is now 11:37 am and I am ready for bed.

All that to say- I made it. I am back [finally]. If I was made of cash I would have flown direct from the states, but... im not.

peace,

r

Live from Los Angeles

2010-09-29T22:08:00.003-04:00

I am nearing the end of my time in the states. I am excited to get back, ready to hit the ground running and get back to "normal life."

I have spent the last 3 days in the car. My brother and I drove from Greenville SC, to Los Angeles. It took us a few days but we both had a great time. Was able to visit with friends at every stop. He is coming out here for college and my friend is getting married so I bummed a ride with him. Planning to spend a few days here, before traveling back.

It looks like I will be able to hit the ground running. We have conferences, and classes planned through december- cant wait!

2010-09-12T16:06:00.003-04:00

'merica

2010-09-04T10:07:00.002-04:00

This last week I spent some time at a local High School discussing what it means to be a Dalit. My goal was just to widen their perspective a bit and show them what people their age are facing. I was hardly 16 when I left America for the first time and spent a month working in the slums in India, so I think they have a greater capacity for change than they are sometimes given credit.

I spoke to 6 different classes 1 hour each. I had a lot of fun, but in all honesty by the end the last thing I wanted to talk about was India (I had just spent 6 hours doing it). During my last class a boy on the front row asked a question.

I will never forget one of my first encounters with the best professor I had in College. First day of class he said something along the lines of "you were always told there are no stupid questions. Thats not true. there are many stupid questions so think before you ask." Mr. front row asked me a stupid question last week.

While I was talking his hand shot up in the air while his forehead wrinkled with irritation. His predicament was "If we are Americans shouldn't we just focus on making America a better place? There are many needs here." The first time, like a good teacher, I somewhat blew him off and moved on. However, to my disappointment, he was more intelligent than that and did exactly what I would have done if I was him- keep asking over and over. Eventually I calmly smiled and said some of us would rather help those in need instead of making sure we have enough gas for our huge SUV's and entire aisles full of different types of bread."

It is interesting what you notice returning and those were 2 of mine. It was a pretty stupid response, but oh well. I realized though that his question must be answered. I also realized that it is most likely his parents that taught him that.

First of all those of us that are Christians are not first Americans. We do not pledge our allegiance to a flag, a nation or a president but a to a king and a kingdom. His kingdom is much greater (in every sense of the word) than the 50 states.

Second we are humans. Regardless of your nationality or religion everyone holds to some form of understanding as to what it means to be human. For example if I were to be found having a slave in my home town of Greenville everyone would be appalled. Why? Because it is inhumane. They would be upset because that person deserves to be treated better. I take it one step further and say if that is happening 10,000 miles away you should be equally appalled because they are people (regardless of the culture they are in).

In short my heart breaks for that kid. His parents have taught him things about us as a nation and his role in it that have led him to a selfish ethnocentrism and he is the one that is going to suffer because of it.

A Day in the Life of a Dalit

2010-08-31T18:17:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow and Thursday I will be speaking at a local public school. I have been asked to visit a few classes to discuss Social Injustice in India. I have some pictures, and a little presentation prepared that should last about 30 minutes or so. The total time they are giving me is an hour each class so for the second half I will be giving them some group work. I plan to break the students into groups of 3-5 people and then give them a scenario that many people find themselves in. My goal is to make the students think outside of our experiences, and put themselves in the shoes of the oppressed. Below are the five scenarios I am giving them.

1) Both you and your spouse are Dalits. Because of this the village you are living in has been taking away your farm land and charging you extra fees for things they don’t charge other people. Eventually its gets to the point that you have almost nothing. You would like to leave and go somewhere else, but you have no money to get there, and no skill except farming. You also have 1 thirteen year old daughter who is malnourished because you can’t afford food. Although you have done all you can, her health is declining. One day a man offers to marry your daughter. He is about 25 years older than her (she is only 13), and you know very well that he will abuse her sexually, physically, and emotionally. However he will give her food, and if she stays here she will continue to starve. What do you do?

This is actually a true story. The name of the little girl was Phoolan Devi. Her parents did in fact allow the man to marry her. She was abused so much she tried many times to run away back home. However if her parents allowed her back it could have easily lead to the husbands family trying to kill her or her family for shaming him. So they consistently sent her back to him until she ran away from the village all together.

2) Both you and your spouse are Dalits. You both work very hard every day but still are barely surviving. In order to have enough money to survive you had to take your 13 year old son out of school to work at a restaurant bussing tables. You hated to do it, but he was starving and this is the only way your family can make enough money to eat. One day a very well to do man comes to your village. He tells you and your spouse that he sees how much you are struggling, and has a solution for you. He offers to give you a large sum of money on loan. He then offers to train your son to work for him in a professional job in the capital city. This is the kind of opportunity you have been praying for, but although you are familiar with the company you don’t know this man very well. What do you do?

This is a very common story. The unfortunate thing is it is never as good as it seems. This boy will be taken to the city and forced to work 18 hour days for very little pay. He will be forced to pay off the loan given to his parents, but will be charged interest at such a rate he will never be able to pay it off. His task-masters threaten to harm his family if he tries to run away.

3) You are a 15 year old Dalit girl. Although your family was unable to provide you with an education or a job you are all very close to each other. Life has been difficult, but not impossible. One day a lady in the village that you know very well tells you that jobs in America can pay as much as $50 a day (your family might make that in a month). The woman explains that she has friends that can get you to America but it will cost $4,000 to get there (passport, visa, plane ticket etc.). The woman is kind enough to loan you the money. This is the kind of opportunity you have been hoping for and it would take care of your entire family, but America is very far away and a $4,000 loan is very expensive. What do you do?

This is a common story as well. Unfortunately it is extremely unlikely she will ever make it to America. What happens is instead she will end up in brothel. The "owners" will tell her she can leave when she pays her debts, but again for the same reasons as #3 it is very difficult to pay of the loan. She will also be told that her family will be harmed if she tries to escape.

4) You are a Dalit man. You have been married for 15 years and have 2 boys. Your family has lived in the same village for generations and you have been able to make a decent living farming. However a few months ago your wife became very sick. You have no idea what it is but she can hardly get out of bed. Although the local hospital is supposed to be free the doctors have demanded bribes before they look at her. On top of that the medicines they prescribe are very costly. Eventually you had to sell all your land and you have almost nothing left, but your wife still needs 2-3 more months of medication before she is cured. An upper class man in the village offers to give you a loan that is just enough to cover the costs, however you have to send your oldest son to work for him in order to pay it off. You know it will be close to slavery for your son so what do you do? Your wife or your son?

Again not an uncommon story. Unfortunately there is no easy solution. It is easy for us to point our fingers and explain how horrible it is for someone to "sell" their children, but many of these people have sent their children off with tears in their eyes because they didn't know what else to do.

5) You are a Dalit woman who found out she was HIV+. Although you were faithful to your husband your whole life your husband wasn’t and you got it from him. You are breast feeding your baby daughter and the doctor tells you that you must stop otherwise although it is not guaranteed the baby could get it also. However bottle feeding is NEVER practiced and people will assume you have HIV. If they find out you are HIV+ you will be kicked out out of the village with your baby, and your husband will disown you. Being kicked out of the village means that you have no means of survival (for you and your baby) except prostitution. What do you do?

This was actually edited. the full version is that many times the husband will keep seeing prostitutes and then refuse to wear a condom with his wife. So she will get many different forms of HIV each of which working differently to destroy her body. When it does come out that she is infected her husband may blame her for both of their infections.

The purpose of these scenarios is not to shock, but rather to give people a different perspective. To think outside of ourselves and put ourselves in their shoes if only briefly. I hope that after walking in their shoes for even just a moment it will lead us to compassion, and a desire to bring hope to the hopeless.

r

The Nation of Texas

2010-08-31T17:32:00.005-04:00

I recently spent a week in Texas. To be completely honest Texas seems to be quite a strange place. Although I grew up in the "bible belt," (Southeastern states- Tx to VA) the cultural version of christianity there took me off guard. Maybe it is because I have been overseas, or maybe it is legitimately insane there- I don't know.

What I mean by cultural christianity is that where I was (Houston) everyone was a professing Christian. I have never seen so many christian bookstores, bumper stickers, restaurants, and even christian gyms (I honestly have no idea what a christian gym is but there was a big one called "New Life Fitness"). I even heard of a christian breast implant company. They would take the fat from a woman's butt and implant it into her breasts (they called it organic). Why? In order to help women become the beautiful woman christ wants them to be. Personally I think it is a complete reversal of the way God created it and I get pretty mad thinking about it. This is the neighborhood of the popular author Joel Osteen.

What I saw saddened me greatly because there really was no difference between the Church and the world in Houston (aside from our stupid t-shirts and bumper stickers). However in the midst of that I was also able to spend time with some of the most encouraging and faithful believers.

Taft. It is in the middle of nowhere. Remember the passage where the disciples hear about Christ and say "really? Bethlehem? that po-dunk down? what the heck happens there?" Thats kind of how people would see Taft. It is 3 hours south west of Houston (a safe distance from the poisonous Kool-Aid of Houston's deformed version of Christianity), and about an hour from Corpus. I drove down Saturday afternoon just in time for a home cooked country meal. The food was great, the tea was sweet, and the conversation amazing. Not only was it encouraging, but we laughed nearly to tears for about 4 hours.

I drove down to meet with some supporters and speak at a supporting church. I stayed at the pastor's house and was able to see a snapshot of his heart for the Lord, and the church. Over 20 years ago there was a tragic decline in most of the churches view of scripture in Taft. So the Lord lead this man to start a church in his living room. He had no training, no experience, he was a farmer (like the prophet Amos) but he was faithful to follow the leading of the Lord (like the prophet Amos). They have had about 50-100 members for the last 20+ years, but usually about 35-50 attend. They don't really care about a show, they simply love Jesus and his word. It was amazing.

I was given the opportunity to speak on Sunday morning. I made some Chai for everyone and put it next to the traditional coffee and breakfast pastries. Although still good and very chai tasting i went a little heavy on the cloves and it had a good kick on the back end. Not sure if they will ever want to drink chai again, but it was fun watching everyone's face as they took the first sip :).

Honestly I felt like I was a part of their church family as soon as I got there. They welcomed me and my girlfriend with open arms and we had one of the most encouraging and fun weekends possible. It is brother's and sisters like them whose company motivates me to go back harder, give more, serve more, and remain faithful. Thanks Country Bible.

r

Re-entry

2010-08-23T00:26:00.000-04:00

I have been in the states fora few 2 weeks now and I am in the middle of what many call “re-entry.” Although I am not staying here, there is still an adjustment process. It is somewhat difficult to put my finger on exactly, as the struggle is very subtle (but persistent). In many ways I have grown accustom to the way of life in India which is very different to that of America. I can give you a few examples of adjustment the last few days.

I still have to make sure I am driving on the right [pun intended] side of the road. At almost every intersection I have to double check to make sure I didn’t turn into oncoming traffic.
I met a man two days ago that was imprisoned for a month for driving without a license. Rules and regulations in India all have exceptions and generally more fluid than our black and white policies here.
I am not used to eating so much. We eat a lot. Often.
I am not used to the transparency. India is a shame based culture and is naturally less open and vulnerable than American culture.
Topics of conversation. Because I have been gone a year I haven’t followed popular t.v. shows, heard the new music on the radio, or seen any of the previews for movies in theater. These are a big part of our culture and it can sometimes be difficult to relate on these issues that were once very easy and natural for me.
I am also not sure how to answer the question “how was India.” I can say “good” but that comes so short of doing justice to my experience that I wonder if its worth even saying. It is difficult to explain something that is so vastly different from what is considered “normal” here. It is like explaining to a fish what it is like to be dry.

I thought I was doing really well. I like America, I love these people, my church, my family. It is so refreshing to be here and hear how the Lord has been working the last year here. The last 2 days though I have had a headache, but I wasn’t sure why as I never get these. Yesterday I realized that I am tense. I realized this because I had been clenching my jaw all day which was causing some pretty rough headaches.

Visas and Funerals

2010-08-23T00:24:00.001-04:00

A few weeks back I sat down with one of my leaders to discuss the increasing difficulties of my visa. The government has now decided that every 6 months not only do I have to leave the country, but I have to be out for a total of 2 months. We have been waiting to see if this was actually implemented and if so how strictly and as time has progressed we have seen that this is in fact the case.
We discussed all the details and mutually agreed that it would be most beneficial (and cheaper in the long run) if I applied for a different visa. In order to do that I had to apply in person in Washington DC.
I had purchased my tickets to Johannesburg a long time before hand but added on a 1 week trip to the states before returning to India. I was never sure exactly what the Lord was planning through the whole ordeal but was (and am) confident he had something specific in mind.
Strangely while I was in South Africa a handful of peculiar circumstances made us re-visit our decision for me to get a new visa. We decided that my applying for a new visa would add a new element of risk and scrutiny to the work and we decided it wasn't worth that scrutiny. (I know thats vague- talk to me in person).
Within a few hours of deciding this my grandma passed away. So instead of traveling to DC for a new visa (which was no longer necessary), I went directly to Chicago to help get everything ready for the funeral. This in itself is a blessing because if I hadn’t been on my way back to work out my visa I would not have been able to attend her funeral
What this means though is that I will be in the states for substantially longer than any of us planned. I have not rebooked my flights yet, but we are looking at me flying back out mid-september (because India requires I stay outside the country for a total of 2 months).
So I do ask for your prayers. That the Lord leads me in his purposes for my time in the states. There are many many things that I could do, but I want to be purposeful with this new found time that I have. I also need prayer against “reverse culture shock.” I have been out of the country for a year now and have grown accustom to a different way of life. Yesterday I gasped as my dad turned to drive down the right side of the road, the day before I grew irritated with the rigidity of the airline officials and customs officers, and today I found myself in Target staring at an advertisement (eyes big as saucers). It is honestly not that difficult yet, but I need to depend on the Spirit as I move forward.
Thank you for your prayers, and I hope to see you soon.

June-July

2010-07-08T00:57:00.002-04:00

Hi there. June is over, i can't believe it. My mom and aunt were able to visit for a bit in June which was a huge blessing. We traveled around a bit, showed them what all was going on here, went to the Taj Mahal etc.

Also during june we had our ELT training. 99 students from all over the country came to the base for leadership training. it has been great, lots of good biblical/practical teaching. The program ends today and by sunday they will be traveling home.

Also I will be leaving the country for a bit next saturday. Because of my visa I am required to leave the country every 2 months. it seems far, but i will actually reach there quicker than it took me to reach Nepal last February (last February involved a 30+ hour train ride). I have a friend that has been working there for a few years so it will be good to see the work going on there.

Pray for me for safe, uneventful travels!

Slums and Surfing

2010-05-30T13:23:00.001-04:00

The term slum here means something vastly different than the way we use it in the states. What we call a slum in the US is called “middle class” here. Here a slum is a conglomeration of mud/dung brick shanties all shimmied adjacent to one another in an effort to share walls. There is no water or electricity and all the sewage runs through the streets. Children when fully clothed are still nearly naked, all of which have no hope for an education (yet). The average salary: 1-2 dollars per 12-14 hour work day. This is a slum.

Today I went surfing. We are a few hundred miles from the coast, but one of the local resorts has recently opened a “surf simulator,” where they make a wave that you can legitimately surf on. Today was 106 degrees (that is considered “cool” for this time of year) so my So-Cal born roommate and I drove out there to pay a visit to the “Flow-Rider.”

As you reach the peak of the wave you can feel the rush of dropping in, but you can also see the slum 200 feet from you. As we enjoyed the cool water and the fun of surfing, a few hundred feet from us were people that were only worried about feeding their children for another day. We spent roughly $10 for an afternoon of surfing- but that is an entire weeks pay for them.

I have hesitated for sometime to post something like this, because I don’t have a solution. However this illustrates my greatest struggle here thus far. The inequality is horrifying. On the way to my apartment you will pass a Mercedes dealership. The Mercedes sign happens to serve as the corner post for a small tea stall. This tea stall is across the street from a very large slum- literally in the shadow of a billboard advertising “Luxury Villas.”

So what do we do? Is it wrong to drive a Mercedes, or live in a luxury villa? Or in my case is it wrong to spend $10 to surf for the afternoon? Is it wrong to give your children a good education, to have insurance, or proper medical care? Is it wrong to have running water and electricity?

See the thing is most of us are willing to draw a line somewhere, but it is conveniently in a place we haven’t yet crossed (and as we near it, it often suddenly moves). The truth is none of the previously mentioned luxuries are sinful or wrong. However the lawfulness of something has little bearing on its profitability.

I am filthy rich. I have an apartment. I have water. I have electricity. I have a motorcycle. I have insurance. I have an education. There is an inequality that frankly even in my most valiant efforts will never be surmounted.

This is my struggle. Please pray for me. I don’t think God made me to simply surf and enjoy life, but I also can not say that he is leading me to live in utter poverty simply because others do. Pray that he leads in a way that I am able to best serve, love and represent him to the world.

Thanks,

r

Basketball and Revelation 6

2010-05-29T04:44:00.001-04:00

I never really liked watching sports too much. I haven’t been able to sit through a Super Bowl in years. College wasn’t much better. We were a small private school and were pretty bad at most everything (but volleyball if I remember correctly). However there was one guy that lived on my wing named Lucian Pesoli. He was our star basketball player (he is now playing pro ball in Italy). Everyone loved to watch Lucian play. I remember one time in particular the opposing team made the mistake of allowing him to get his hands on the ball. Lucian broke out of the pack and made a break toward the goal on the other end of the court. One of the opposing players was prepared for this and was waiting to cut him off enroot. As Lucian neared the goal the opposing player braced himself, ready, while we held our breath. Lucian didn’t even slow down, but simply jumped over the man and dunked the ball. The other guy was knocked down in the process and left lying on the court speechless and dumbfounded. The only natural response from the stands was screaming, yelling and jumping. Even I found myself grabbing the face of the man sitting next to me and screaming at it.

When you see someone dominate like that it brings excitement. When the foe is beaten by our team, we can only rejoice. It’s natural. It’s normal. This is the image that comes to mind as I read Revelation.

“Then all the kings of the earth and the great ones and the generals and the rich and the powerful, and everyone, slave and free, hid themselves in the caves among the rocks of the mountains calling to the mountains and rocks ‘Fall on us and hide us from the face of Him who is seated on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, for the great day of wrath has come, and who can stand?’”

That rush, that joy, that excitement that I felt when Lucian dunked on the opposing team’s star player will be nothing compared to what it will be like to watch the Lord bring his restorative justice at the end of the age.

Come quickly lord Jesus.

Come Quickly Lord Jesus

2010-05-24T01:14:00.003-04:00

I just finished a book called "India Unbound." The author is a Harvard grad, and was the international director for Proctor and Gamble. In his book he discusses the economic history of India post 1947. It was a good balance of memoir, history, politics and economics.

Throughout the book he brings to light the influence of communism on India and the devastating effects of it. For example he explains that the train system in India (which is government run, and subsidized) employs 700% more people per mile of rail than any other nation. If you travel by train you will experience long delays and unhelpful station employees. The author was giving an apology for privatization, resulting in competition, productivity and efficiency. He concludes this as the primary, if not only, reason that India did not undergo an industrial revolution.

Then I contrast this with my home culture. There we pride ourselves in capitalism (unfortunately often on par with biblical morals), and become outraged should the government try to socialize anything more than the post office, the DMV, and road construction (see our response to the healthcare initiatives). There capitalism has fed our insatiable desire for more and under the banner of free trade will consume at the expense of another.

So this is my dilemma. I don't particularly like either one. Capitalism led my country to economic disaster, and socialization has robbed india of modernity (in 1991 India passed many economic reforms that paved the way for the present growth. India today is far less socialized than india 20 years ago, hence the present growth). My conclusion is this. "Lord we are broken, selfish people. Everyone of us. Please purify, redeem, restore and make all things new. Begin with your church, and begin with me." That is our only hope. Our hope doesn't rise and fall with respective economic policy of our home country.

the train ride

2010-02-04T09:02:00.001-05:00

I had a great blog entry that got deleted. So im going to try to remember, and write it again.

I took a 30+ hour train ride across the country. It was wonderful. Below my bed there was a Punjabi Sikh man. I could tell he was a Sikh because of the meticulous way he wrapped his turban so as to accentuate the prominent bulge of hair that had never been cut. He wore a solid metal silver bracelet to maintain balance and harmony. His graying beard was very long but tied up under his chin in the traditional Sikh way. He shared that he also carried the religious knife, and wore the religious underwear. In reference to said underwear he explained, “I wear the brief kind, not the French kind so if I take pant off now- no problem.” Thankfully he didn’t elaborate.

He was a very kind man, always making sure I was safe and as comfortable as possible. He was very moral, as most Sikhs are, and extraordinarily sincere in his pursuits. The snapshot of his life that I saw on the train was easily more moral than the average Christian’s. At one point I looked at him and was stunned by the fact that same “kind” man would one day look in the face of God in complete horror as he is told that he had never been known by God. So I asked the father for an opportunity to share

About halfway through our journey as I began to mix my rice and curry by hand he said to me “you have a very good opportunity!” I paused and asked him what he was referring to and he explained that he was going to spend the next hour giving me a class on Sikhism. I realized this was an answer to my previous prayer and indulged him. He began like this “6 day creation is bullsh*t. The bible is bullsh*t.” This led into an hour log tirade of head bobbing and hardly intelligible logic.

He continued at breakneck speed for the entirety of the conversation. I noticed he was slightly dehydrated because as he spoke small beads of foamy spit would form on his lower lip until large enough to be launched by the next aspirated syllable. From time to time I would interject loaded questions (i.e. in reference to the statement “everything must be proved scientifically” I asked “can you prove history, math, or even that statement scientifically”) but it was clear he was only waiting for his next moment to begin talking, as his responses rarely had any relevance to my questions.

Eventually I remembered his unhindered candor at the offset of our conversation and thought I would return the favor. So mimicking his boldness and illogical and non-linear progression of thought I gave the good news. I just said it. I didn’t lead into it. I didn’t butter him up for it- I just said it. From my perspective it couldn’t have been more ineffective, however that’s not my role.

The entire conversation reminded me of Psalm 114 and Christ’ allusion to in when he said “they have ears that do not hear, and eyes that do not see.” That Punjabi man had become as lifeless as the idol he worshipped, so much that the words of life (john 6) were anything but intelligible to him. I’m going to do the best dang job that I can- but the Lord changes hearts.

surgery and christmas and stuff

2010-01-27T00:40:00.003-05:00

Well i have gotten very lax with this. Im a schmuck. I think most of you know that i had surgery back in december. But over the last month the Lord has been working through that with me.

See i had a hernia. its a laparoscopic operation (google it). However halfway through the surgery (its a 45 min procedure that took 4 hours) i woke up and look down and see a 9 inch incision, the skin all pulled back and a giant hole. I was drugged so all i thought "hmmm that doesn't look laparoscopic"

When i woke up i called the nurse and said "was this done laparoscopically?" she assured me that it was, but i didn't believe her. So i took off all the gauze and tape and sure enough it wasn't. So i dinged my bell until she came back and showed her the incision and asked "does this look laparoscopic?" She just shrugged and walked away. That frustrated me.

Then i wasn't able to pee. I was on an IV and went 20 hours without peeing and had almost 2 liters of pee built up. In the middle of the night another nurse thought increasing my IV would force it out. Anyway it was very very painful because it put pressure on my incision.

Then the doctor came in and couldn't figure out why it was hurting so bad so he kept poking me in the most painful part of the cut and saying "does that hurt?" I'm literally shouting in pain saying you "think im faking this? ive never hurt like this before." then he says "this shouldn't hurt though" and he does it half a dozen more times.

Ok so the whole thing didn't really fill me with christmas cheer but this is what happened. God gave me an opportunity to represent him and show his love. He gave me opportunities to share with the doctor and the nurses. However instead i was frustrated, and when he was poking me i was very angry. What scares me is that when i was put in a difficult situation unrighteous anger came out instead of the aroma of christ.

Now you might be rolling your eyes saying "cmon robby." here is what happened though, nurses would come in and ask "how are you?" I would pause and say "well lets think about that. If I was doing well do you think i would be here right now?" That is one of the worst responses possible. If I really believe that Christ's love is REALLY better than life i would live like it when it was hard.

So all that to say, I was very disappointed with myself in that whole thing and i have asked the Lord for a second chance. I am also praying that he will purge that attitude from my heart. That he will transform me. When you crush a grape, juice comes out- not oil. I want the same to be true of me- when things get difficult the only thing to come out of my mouth being christ. pray for me. thxx.

A cow and a bicycle.

2009-11-22T23:09:00.002-05:00

How much is your daughter worth? Now I'm single so i know the question isn't nearly as potent for me, but nevertheless it still strikes a nerve. One of the leaders here gave me a biography of a lady named Phoolan Devi- the Al Capone of the 80's here. I will spare you the details, but when she was 11 she was sold for a cow and a bicycle to a 31 year old man as his wife. The journalist writing the book asked her mother the question that comes to everyone's mind "why?" Her mother could only say one line "it is a scary thing what poverty will make you do." See at the time they were in the middle of a land dispute which as farmers was their only source of income. They were hungry, and had no food for their daughter or themselves. Their rational was, sure this man will abuse her, but is that worse than starving to death? They couldn't provide for their daughter, and this man said he would at least feed her.

Can you imagine asking yourself that question? "which is better for my daughter? To give her to a man that will molest her? or let her starve to death?" I cant.

Now for the sake of honesty and clarity, this although much more common here than in the west is not something that everyone goes through. Not every villager is faced with these issues, but many are. I want you to have an accurate picture rather than simply a dramatic one.

Instant

2009-10-30T00:34:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was christmas for me. My wonderful family sent me a HUGE box of happiness. Things like Mac & Cheese, toilet paper, theology books, Starbucks, and a 'fresh' pair of rainbows. Honestly I don't think there could have been a better care package. They really do know me.

This morning my roommate was looking at everything and he didn't know what any of it was. So I said um, this is a bag of beef jerkey you open the bag and eat it (beef is his favorite so its ok). This is instant grits you just add water. This is instant coffee, you just add water. He looked at me totally confused and said "What does 'instant' mean?" He is very good at english but the idea of instant is completely unheard of here. So I said i would show him.

I boiled some water and added it to instant grits and in about 10 seconds we had breakfast. He was shocked. He said thats food?!?! Already?!?!? Its like magic!! Then I said "do you want a cup of coffee?" and I poured the rest of the boiling water into a cup of instant starbucks (which is actually really good- try it). He laughed and laughed saying "here 1 meal takes one hour to prepare!" Then he said something very interesting he said "no wonder it is so difficult for foreigners to come to my india."

I think he really hit on something there. See I don't care if I have to wait for the bus, or wait at the market or the bazaar or whatever. But because I come from an instant culture it is hard for me to some days to not understand this culture to the extent that i want to. See the first few months I learned a lot of simple things. Don't shake with your left hand, bobbing you head means yes, drive on the left side etc. Those are easy lessons that can be learned instantly. However really understanding and becoming like this culture takes much much longer. Thinking like them, laughing like them, reasoning like them that doesn't happen by "just adding water." It takes time, it takes relationships, and it takes abiding in Christ. These are the things I want to learn/become and often i want it instantly.

A few months ago I was in Philly with my friend Phil. We went to the Art museum. He is very gifted with art (his cd ghosts of the great highway is one of the best i have heard in 2009). Now part of the time i walked around the Museum and said "oh that picture is nice that one is nice" based only on my appreciation of the aesthetics. However when he walked with me he would give me the background behind each painting. Once he explained to me that some of the artists were actually communicating a very strong message (often a very rebellious message) some of the paintings I didn't enjoy previously became remarkably beautiful because I knew how to understand them. I think it is this way with culture also. I can look at it and appreciate it for what is on the surface, but i want to understand why this culture has been painted this way. What each stroke is communicating.

Not sure if that makes a lot of sense, and forgive me if I am taking the analogy too far, but i think it is a fair illustration of life here.

r

The little things add up

2009-10-22T13:14:00.003-04:00

I just got back from an American family's home tonight. We had an awesome dinner and really just hung out for awhile. It was very interesting to me because I realized a few things. After we prayed we walked into the kitchen to get food and the first thing I noticed was the size of the cups. I know it's weird but just hold on. See American cups are bigger than the vast majority of other countries. There XL size is our small size. So when I got things for my flat I got "normal" size cups (normal=small, we are the weird ones) and they are made out of stainless steel. Everywhere you go plan on drinking out of like an 8oz cup. However this family brought out the HUGE plastic cups and it was wonderful. Its funny the things that you notice when you don't have them.

Its also funny the things that are insulting/complimentary. An American took me aside and asked "how do you bob your head like that?" The culture here shakes their head a little, ok a lot different. I certainly made an effort when i first got here, but don't really notice it anymore. Apparently I am doing it without thinking, as weird as it sounds thats encouraging to me.

r

Diwali

2009-10-18T06:13:00.002-04:00

So yesterday was Diwali. Well technically it lasts for 3 days, but yesterday was the bulk of the celebrations. Diwali is called the festival of lights and is a celebration of the birth of Krishna. It was amazing. See in the states we shoot off firecrackers, but here they call them "bombs." Now I figured that this was just a linguistic thing and maybe they didnt know the english word for firecrackers, or fireworks. False. Many of these were much closer to bombs than any firecracker I have seen. The streets erupted with "bombs" and everywhere we went we now had to dodge these "bombs."

At one point I had just finished my run for the day. I had my ipod in, hands on my head sucking in air, and my eyes closed. All of the sudden there was a flash of light, a burst of wind and the loudest BANG I have ever heard. Naturally i thought I was dying so I hit the deck only to realize that I had walked into a kid's "bomb" throwing path. The kids thought it was hilarious, and lets be honest it was.

We went into town last night and literally people would set up roman candles, strings of firecrackers EVERYTHING in the road. and we would just drive through. However after that it was time for bed. So about 11pm I settled down to sleep. No No, the "bombs" didn't stop until 7 am the next day. A group of kids thought the best place to blow things up would be right below my bedroom window. soooo i dint really sleep.

Anyway Happy Diwali! (its pronounced D'vall-ee)

Hugs and Stuff

2009-10-11T13:25:00.003-04:00

I saw something interesting today. Nobody else found it interesting but me. There were a bunch of Americans in the Cafeteria (canteen) today. One of the girls in their group saw a guy she [I am assuming] she hadn't seen in a long time because she screamed ran across the room and gave him a huge hug. The Americans didn't think it was funny because it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The Indians didn't think it was funny because they were just stunned. See in their culture there is not interaction across sexes beyond a brief conversation. I looked around and the whole room was staring at these 2 people hugging, and they were completely oblivious. It would be about as shocking as a couple making out in the middle of the room would be to us.

I have said it before but I am continually amazed by their hospitality here. They are so patient with us as we stumble through learning their culture.

Learning Culture...

2009-10-01T05:15:00.001-04:00

Imagine something with me. Imagine your company has a new intern. This intern is working for free because he is so excited about the work your office does.

He is a young single guy from India. This doesn’t really matter except that his accent is so thick it is pretty difficult to talk to him. Some people in the office even need you to translate his English. He is trying to learn American slang but keeps saying “yes sir,” to the janitor and “Yea dude,” to the CEO.

He cannot drive anywhere so if he needs anything you either have to drive him, or find someone else to drive him. When you do drive him you notice he is clutching the side of the seat because he has never seen someone drive as “crazy” as they do in the states. Thankfully public transport is pretty good so you are hoping he learns to use that.

Sometimes your work takes the both of you out of town. Now, although excited this man has never traveled like a normal person. See in his country he only rode in BMW and Lexus Suv’s, never (literally) in a Honda or a Toyota. His choice of hotels is only the best. Your company obviously cannot afford that so you stay at the Hampton Inn. Although he is perfectly content, you know that he has only slept on memory foam mattresses his whole life. Even though the hotel beds are comfortable to you, he is going to wake up every hour in the night because he wont be comfortable at all. Again, he doesn’t complain but you also know that he will be exhausted the next day and probably won’t be as productive as you. He does his best to fit in, but he isn’t used to the temperature in the states. He is used to it being warm so when you are perfectly comfortable you will see him shivering, sometimes his fingers even turn blue.

Also in his country he only ate at 4 or 5 star restaurants. Now you would love to have him over to your home for dinner, but many of your friends have told you that your cooking will make him sick if he can even eat it at all. Your boss even said that you couldn’t go to any restaurant of lower class than Outback (although you and him often would eat at “normal” places). Everywhere he goes though he carries a bottle of water because he can’t drink American water. He hasn’t ever even eaten with a fork before. Now although he tries to use a fork every single meal, you can always tell where he sat because there is food everywhere. He is so different that whenever you go in public with him you know everyone will stare at you (some people even judge you for being with him at all).

Although this is your imagination, it’s my reality- I’m that guy. Now my point in that is to call your attention to the generosity of my hosts. See although they are not paying me, there is certainly still a great cost to them. I am so blessed by the ways they have sought to ease me into their culture. They have made a huge front-end investment in me and I am thankful for them. I love it here, I love the adventure and everything I am learning, and I am very thankful for their patience.

It's not just a name

2009-09-27T06:13:00.002-04:00

Today I was in the canteen (cafeteria) throwing food in my mouth with my right hand (thats how we do). I was sitting with a guy I never met before and he asked my name. I told him robby. He looked at me totally confused and said "are you from a Hindu family?" I wasn't at all sure how that was relevant to the conversation but simply said "No, Christian." Then he said "Oh, ok your name sounds like Ravi, which is a Hindu name." Then it all made sense.

A week or so ago I posted about a little confusion I had as to what to call myself here. I thought about foreigners that came to the sates and often I met people that adopted american names. Although we knew the Chinese guy was not originally named Tom, we would have no problem with that. The difference is that in the states your name has very little meaning to it. For example if I tell you my name is Robby, you don't know anything more about me than how to get my attention. In the states you give meaning to your name, the name doesn't give meaning to you.

However here it is different. Your name immediately tells other people what state you are from, what social class you belong to, and what religion you family ascribes to. So if I was to say that my name was Ravi it would be making statements about myself, my family and our background that are clearly not true.

It almost reminded me of the kid trying to be someone he is not. The kid that bought a Tony Hawk skate board but really has no idea how to skate. Or the person that has taken one philosophy class but tries to talk like he is well versed in philosophy. Or the first year bible student debating Calvinism at Starbucks. The slang term is "poser." Someone that poses to be something/someone they aren't.

Here there is a lot in a name. A lot of trust, value, and identity in a name and I have no right to coin a new nickname for myself. Lesson learned!

R

A Suprise

2009-09-25T00:50:00.002-04:00

I haven't been here very long, but I have somewhat grown accustom to seeing things that for me are out of the ordinary. Everything here is done different, it makes it exciting and interesting. However yesterday I saw something that literally made me stop in the middle of the road and stare like an idiot.

Here there are beggars everywhere. Slumdog Millionaire did a good job of portraying reality. Everywhere you go there are beggars and street vendors that would make DHEC have a conniption. Yesterday I hopped on the bus and went into town to explore a little. There I saw for the first time a roadside tattoo artist. The said "artist" was about 12 years old and sitting in the dirt on the sidewalk with a tattoo gun going to town on a guy's arm. He had a little white (dirty) blanket and a small jar of black ink (not green). It looked similar to a bottle of ink you would use for a quill pen.

Now I know standards of cleanliness are different, but to me that looked like a death wish.

Guess i'm not in Kansas anymore.

Noah was weird

2009-09-23T23:29:00.002-04:00

I read just finished my devos today. I am still kind of stunned/thoughtful about what I just read. I read about Noah. Now I grew up thinking of Noah as a great zookeeper painted onto every nursery wall. You know the cartoon where he is this funny bearded guy with birds elephants and giraffes? I think that is a misrepresentation.

I read about Noah today. I've been in Mathew, but Jesus references Noah in chapter 24, so I went back to read that. The first thing that I saw was that "Noah walked with God." Now I haven't done an in depth study yet but I know that same description is used of Adam. I also know that Gal. 5 tells me to walk in step with the spirit.

But do you know what Noah did? he was in the middle of the desert and spend YEARS building a boat! Why? Because he walked with God. Then he gets all these animals and his whole family and they go into the boat (remember it has likely never rained in the history of the world at this point,and he isn't even close to the ocean) and they sit there for a week! He was in the boat with the family and all these animals for a WEEK! Why because he walked with God, and God told him to.

What gets me is that Mathew 24 says that the return of the son of man will be like in the days of Noah. Everyone will be happy clappy, and then He will return on the clouds. Revelation also says that people will be screaming at the mountains to fall on them for fear of the one who sits on the throne.

So what is my response? I know this day is coming. Am I going to live like righteous Noah and tell everyone or will I shut my mouth out of a desire to be liked? So all that to say the Lord just hit me with the urgency of the situation. Noah didn't sit on his duff and "have a good time" he went and built a boat. So lets do something.

In other news I just got back from visiting teams that are "doing something." A huge blessing to hang out with them, see their work, little bit of mutual encouragement going on, it was great.

Anyway, thanks for caring. Peace.

R

Losing to Gain?

2009-09-15T22:25:00.001-04:00

One of my favorite authors is D.A. Carson. Although he has done an excellent job of addressing many different issues one I have especially enjoyed the way he points out irony in scripture. The reality is that the word of God was written by real people with personalities and he does a great job pointing that out.

One of the things I initially found most ironic was Jesus’ teaching on life. Jesus said that to gain life you have to loose it, to be great in the kingdom you have to be a servant, least and last. At first glance I thought this was dripping with irony, however the more I meditate on it I think it is simply common sense.

Another topic that I enjoy is finance/investments. Now I am not very good at it, but I do enjoy learning about different financial markets and fund opportunities (so bear with me if you hate finance). Everyone knows that if you want to have money for retirement you have to invest it. If you just let your cash sit in your checking account your interest rate wont even hit inflation and you will consistently loose money. The only way to make money is to invest it in a profitable fund. We have to let go of it and put it in something greater than itself so that it will grow. At least for a time we loose it so that we might gain it.

Now what if there was a fund that was guaranteed a 1000% annual return? What if there was a fund where it was impossible to loose money? You would most likely reject all notion of diversification and invest every thing in this one fund. You wouldn’t even be out of line to begin selling things you could do without in order to put the profit in this particular fund. Wouldn’t it be logical to also go and tell everyone you knew about this new found fund? Now the reality is that for a time you would be without. You wouldn’t have access to that cash immediately but you would endure living without for the joy of what would come later.

I think this is exactly what Christ is talking about. He calls us to invest our lives in something greater than ourselves so that we might take hold of that something greater. Sure maybe we will be without today, maybe we will be uncomfortable (its 9:30 pm and I am sitting on my bed sweating- with the fan on), but if we have taken our comfort and given it up to invest in something greater isn’t it worth it? Think of the previously mentioned fund, would it make any sense to not invest everything in it? I think that’s what Christ calls us to, to give him everything. To loose our life that we might gain it, it seems ironic but we hold to the same principles elsewhere.

Life with Christ is crazy. I think it’s worth a try.

"normal" life

2009-09-15T00:12:00.004-04:00

Hey hey,
well I am here. I know I haven't been very good about updating this, but I am still trying to figure out what I can say and what I can't. Learning from mistakes already!

I have been here about 2 weeks now and am starting to get into a flow. Right now I live in a dorm about 50 meters from my office. I eat in the canteen (cafe, cafeteria, lunchroom etc.) which is also on campus.

Right now the biggest thing I am working on job wise is coordinating communication between the team here and a f-ship in the states. I will also be teaching an ESL class this fall (for the first time in my life) and then helping to teach a little in January while taking classes.

I got asked a question the other day that for the first time I wasn't sure how to answer. A guy asked me "what is your name." Well um, hmm. I actually had to think about it. Here was my thought process. Well my real name is Robert but I don't go by that. My nickname is Robby, but if I tell you that you will say Ruby and that is a girls name here. The closest equivalent that I know of here is Ravi. But is my name Ravi, Ruby, Robby, or Robert? So I said Ravi. I have tried this a few times telling them my name is Ravi, and each time I get the response "no it isn't." Hahaha, so then I tried Robby/Ruby and they laugh and say "dont you know that's a girls name here?!" Eh, yea, um ok? So what is my name? hmmm, TBD. :-)

I Corinthians 13

2009-08-30T09:08:00.004-04:00

If I speak with the tongue of a national but have no love I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I wear the national dress and understand all forms of cultural etiquette and if I copy all mannerisms so that I could pass for a national but have no love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and if I spend all my energy without reserve but have no love I gain nothing.

Love endures longs hours of language study, and is kind to all those who mock his accent.

Love does not envy those who stayed in America.

Love does not exalt his home culture, is not proud of his national superiority, does not boast about "the way we do it back home," does not seek his own ways, is not easily provoked into telling about the beauty of his home country, does not think evil of this new culture.

Love bears all criticisms about his home culture, believes all good things about this new culture, confidently anticipates being at home in this place, and endures all inconveniences.

Love never fails, but where there is cultural anthropology it will fail; where there is contextualization, it will lead to syncretism; where there is linguistics, it will change.

For we know only part of the culture and we minister only part. But when Christ is reproduced in this culture, then inadequacies will be insignificant.

When I was in America I spoke as an American, I understood as an American; but when I left America I put away American things.

Now I adapt to this culture awkwardly; but he will live in it intimately; now I speak with a strange accent, but he will speak to the heart.

And now these three remain: Cultural adaption, language study and love, but the greatest of these is love.

-This is something I read yesterday and I thought it was good. I know there are some differences between it and I Cor. 13 but i enjoyed it.

2009-08-25T05:14:00.001-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ_QgGQ3WcM

A Large Vat of Spiritual Ice Water

2009-05-09T22:06:00.004-04:00

Often times we can get spiritually numb. We get distracted and loose our sense of urgency. That happened to me this week. Its like we forget we are in a battle and all of the sudden we think we have the right to be comfortable and please ourselves. Well Friday morning I was listening to a sermon by Francis Chan from Cornerstone church in Simi Valley and I woke up.

He just wrote a book, and will be getting $500,000 in royalties this year. Instead of spending it he opened a charitable trust so that it can only be given to charitable organizations. 100% of his royalties are going to this trust. He also has a friend working with International Justice Mission who works in Cambodia to shut down the brothels (girls are between the ages of 8-18). So some of the money will go there. Some will go to the 50,000 Christians in India who have been displaced by radicals, and some to the aids pandemic in Africa etc. Some people told Francis that he should save some of it in case of an emergency. Do you know what he said? he said "do you think that the brothels in Cambodia are not an emergency?" What is an emergency? Is it only an emergency if you are directly involved? Look around this is an emergency, the day of the Lord is at hand and we have forgotten we are in a battle.

The Lord used this sermon series to wake me up to the emergency around us. Stop saving for an emergency, stop waiting for an emergency. This is an emergency.

If you want to listen to them, go to cornerstone simi's page and listen to the 3 part series "living a life that matters"

Pictures of the Trip

2009-05-05T08:15:00.003-04:00

This is one of the 85 schools that the company has started in the country. This is most definately one of the biggest. These schools target the "untouchables" or the lowest ecenomic class. They go all the way through High School, and the classes are taught in English. It is very expensive to get an "english" education in the country, so it is a great opportunity for the kids.

This is a very common sight. When I took this picture it was about 8am, and roughly 100 degrees out. Hence the loin cloth.

Usually these carts will be filled with fruits or something.

This man is wearing whats called a lungi. AKA a man skirt. It isnt formal wear or anything, but I will most definately wear this.

This old lady sat in this same spot every day. Occasionally she would yell at the naked kid running around but other than that I never heard her say anything. I even asked her if I could take this picture and she just stared at me. So I took it.

I am back!

2009-05-05T08:14:00.000-04:00

Well I have come and gone. I spent the last 2 weeks over there and I am now in the states once again. In all honesty the trip was much better than I expected. Here are the 3 major things that I learned about the culture:

1) There is more diversity here than any other place I have been to. The difference between the north and the south is astronomical- language, culture, dress, food EVERYTHING. So if I learn something in the north it probably isn’t true of the south.
2) An easterner finds their identity completely in their family tree. For example if they want to know about you they will ask about your father, mother and siblings. They see you as only one small piece of a greater pie. On top of that because they identify themselves with their family it is very difficult for them to autonomously make a decision, or decide something against their family. This might be when HE said you had to be born again into a new family to enter the kingdom.
3) Everything is hierarchical. The hierarchy is based on job title, age, experience, who their father was, anything. It is also very rude to question, you are expected to just trust those above you. This is another reason why it would be so hard for someone to go against their parents in any kind of decision.

Our father is very good, and he is working in amazing ways over there. In spite of everything the evil one is trying to do, his good news is going literally to the ends of the earth. As of now we are still working on finalizing some of the last minute details.

traveling this weekend

2009-04-14T10:00:00.002-04:00

So here is the plan. I leave for South East Asia on Saturday at 4pm, arriving at my destination 8am Monday morning (spending the night in the airplane and the Delhi airport…). The purpose for this trip is to finalize all the plans for moving in August. Here is the reality- this is hard. Moving to a country in Asia is not normal, and most people HATE it. But I don’t and that makes me weird. However I cant imagine doing anything else. Now after all those sentence fragments what we are going to be prayerfully considering these next 2 weeks is whether or not this is exactly where I need to be. If it is not only should I not go, but I don’t want to. His plan is infinitely better than anything I could even imagine, so I only want what my father wants. He knows how to give good gifts to his children so when we ignorantly ask for a stone he will give us bread.

The role we are looking at is that of a “facilitator.” I am 22, single, and dumb. Therefore the most effective place I could be is under older wiser more experienced men for a long time. There is a tremendous need for bbl training. Often time chrch leaders will have no training at all. The school I am looking to serve with is not a cheesy bible school with a flannel board up front to put pictures of a blonde YHWH carrying a lamb on his shoulder. It is actually internationally accredited on the bachelor’s master’s and Ph.D. levels. I think it goes without saying that I will not be teaching Ph.D. classes. My role as a facilitator would be simply to serve those that are already teaching. Doing their admin work grading papers WHATEVER they need so that they can teach more often and more effectively. I will be behind the scenes working as a catalyst. There is the possibility of teaching introductory classes through the chrch etc. In addition to being a teachers assistant, I will be taking classes and getting training myself (culturally but also theologically). As time goes they would look to move me into more of a teaching role as I grow and learn. OK lets be honest, you can not tell me that that doesn’t sound like the most amazing opportunity EVER. Period.

I can’t do any of this alone. Yes YHWH is with me but he has ordained the body to work together in striving for the gospel. I need your partnership now. I need everyone I know to prayerfully consider partnering with me now. The next 2 weeks are going to determine a lot and all of us need His wisdom. So please pry with us and seek his face with us. Even now he is going to be glorified and I want everyone to see it.

Christ is Life

2009-04-12T19:47:00.003-04:00

Today I went on a run. I do my best (and worst)thinking when I am running. After I got bit in the butt by a huge german shepherd (and after I decided to not run back and kill it with my bare hands) I had a thought.

I like girls (this part wasn't new). I think that's the way the Lord made guys. He created us to be in relationship with the opposite sex. Both sexes are made equally in His image, and both reflect unique aspects of the godhead that the other does not. That image is the only goodness that is found in humanity. Now I also think it would be fair to say that I am not attracted to the wickedness, pride, selfishness and whatever other sin is found in each person but rather glimmer of the image of God that each person resembles. Because lets be honest we all suck, and any goodness, or anything attractive in humanity is just a faint glimpse of a greater goodness found in Christ.

Now we have all either experienced the joy and blessing of a relationship with the opposite sex, or at least the desire for that. Nobody would deny that relationships are good. However the difference between the goodness found Christ and that found in a relationship is as great a difference as that which is between the creator and his creation. How much greater is Christ than man? How much more glorious is the messiah than fallen humanity? The answer is so huge that the question can not even be fully answered. The answer to that question is the same as the difference between the goodness in a relationship v.s. the goodness found in Christ.

So why would we pursue something that was only faint distorted image of something far greater? What Olympian the week before the games would tell his home country he had been training for second, and was aiming for second place? Obviously second place would be great, but all the greatness of a silver and more would be realized in the gold. We are called to run the race with endurance, to fix our eyes on the prize, and our hope on the glory to be revealed at the end of the age. Why do we take a pit stop for a decade to pursue marriage putting our service to Christ on hold? Relationships are great, but he is infinitely greater. Lets seek his kingdom and all these things will be added. Christ is life, Christ is satisfying, Christ is more than everything we could want or need.

Thats what I was thinking as my butt was bleeding through the teeth marks of a german shepherd.

oh and PS I am not saying that anything God made (relationships careers posessions or whatever) has to be pursued or achieved at the expense of the kingdom. It just seems like sometimes it is. especially at my age for relationships. so lets just be careful to keep the main thing the main thing thats all.

2009-04-10T22:18:00.001-04:00

The Lord is up to something

2009-04-01T15:51:00.002-04:00

So 2 months ago I grabbed starbucks with the pastor. I sat down and asked how his week was, but he didnt want to talk about that. He cut to the chase telling me that i was living a very safe and comfortable life. At the rate i was going i would look back in 40 years having accomplished NOTHING for the kingdom but i was just safe. Needless to say I kinda sat there in a daze thinking "holy crap he's right!" Long story short I realized I needed take a step and trust the Lord to plant my feet. He told abraham to "go" but didnt tell him where when why how and for what purpose. It has always been clear to me that God was telling me to "go" but i was waiting for him to answer my 20 questions. I thought i was waiting on God but he was waiting on me.

So I put in an application with an "m" agency. A good one i have known for a long time. I told them about my desire to go to a specific country (if you know me you can guess which one) and it turns out they were praying for someone to go to this country. A few days later i "just so happened" to apply. They unanimously accepted my application in 1 day. I told the office everything and they gave me time off to raise support (read Nehemiah 1 and 2 thats exactly what happened to me). So far everything has fallen into place

April 17th I will going over to this city (there is a reason I am not saying which country or city so don't ask-security) to meet with the leadership. We are looking at me working as a teachers assistant at a bible school while continuing to take classes and learn. Please pray that this 2 week trip is christ honoring and that his will is done. As of now I will be leaving the end of august to move over there for 2 years.

There is a heck of a lot more to say, and many more things that he has done to proclaim his name but I will post those later. Just wanted to give peeps a heads up to pray for/with me and labor with me in the gospel.

peace!

Luke 12

2008-12-14T16:33:00.002-05:00

There was a financially savvy investor whose portfolio returned a healthy profit. This man decided to take the profit and re-invest it allowing for a wider diversification. He called up his financial adviser, and after signing all the paperwork was at peace because he obviously had more than enough saved up for retirement. Unfortunately shortly thereafter he died, and everything he saved was given to those in his will. He had so much hope for his cash, but it accomplished nothing for him, because he never used it to invest in eternity. All his energy was spent saving for retirement, and it was all lost in a moment.
Life is more than a 401K, IRA, or a diversified portfolio. Can anyone really prepare enough to add an extra moment to their life? If we can not add a moment to any day, prolong our life for a split second, or even control the economy why do we spend so much time and energy filling our bank accounts? The moment you think you have it all together all of your Enron stocks will become worthless, your Wachovia, Citi, or Bank of America shares will drop 90%, your 19 years at Lehman Brothers will be insignificant, or Price water house will cut your department. Look at 3rd world countries, they are beautiful and happy. They have nothing. If God takes care of them why wont he take care of you? The Lord doesn’t need your 401K to provide for your needs oh you of little faith. Do not seek a new mutual fund, or whatever Reuters says will be the next best stock choice. Instead seek the Kingdom of God. Cash in your 401K, take the tax hit and give it to the salvation army. Invest in a heavenly fund that will always return a profit, where banks don’t close and stocks don’t fall. Whatever is in your checkbook there your heart is also. So be ready always because the day of the Lord is at hand.
Who is the truly wise investor? He is the one who is always ready to cash in his heavenly portfolio. You must be ready because the son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

We live in a unique time. I can look around and see people 40 years ahead of me in life. In 2008 they lost half (some lost everything) of everything they owned. They saved for decades storing their treasures in barns (401K, IRA, Funds Stocks etc.), only to have those barns burn down. And what is everyone’s response? Re-build and do it again. Jesus Christ teaches a different economy, one very contrary to capitalism. Yours didn’t work. The Economist Lied. Reuters Lied. Scottrade Lied. Warren Buffet Lied. The media Lied. None of the investments they pointed to gave us comfort or a life, happiness or contentment, or even stability and security. Hope in God.

(this doesn't mean don't save or invest. Do all things for his glory and keep it in it's place. Being safe and comfortable is not the highest good. Honoring Him is, and it might be at the expense of your safety or comfort).

Picture of Our Team

2008-10-11T09:33:00.000-04:00

From left to right:

David, (in the picture in his hand- Sarah and Stephen) Kerry, Ken, Roland, Pam, Me, Pete.

Of course the week everyone wore a decent shirt I wore a Red Hot Chili Peppers T-Shirt. Classy.

traveling once again

2008-10-05T15:39:00.004-04:00

It has been a year. goodness. I was just thinking today about all that has happened in the last 365 days. The Lord has been faithful to consistently conform my will to his even when I would kick [hard] against the goads. One good example is my car. I asked the Lord to show me somebody I could give my car to. I do not need to hold onto my possessions so tightly, so I asked him to show me somebody I can give my car to. The next afternoon it was stolen out of the parking lot at work. My brother was gracious enough to let me borrow his 1972 pink VW bug (one time I think I got it all the way to 65mph) which broke down and left me on the side of the freeway one afternoon on my lunch break. So I prayed and asked God to provide for my needs ( I never asked for my car back, but just that he would provide as he say fit), and by the end of the week the cops found my car. No damage, nothing stolen out of it. The Lord truly does give and take away-blessed be the name of the Lord. Things like this have happened over and over whether it as breaking up with my [almost] fiance, or having plans for grad school fall apart 7 times. As i look back I can honestly thank the Lord for giving me hands down the hardest year of my life. I would not trade it for anything.

Enough of the past though. This November 4th-16th my mom (yes I did just say my mom) and I will be traveling to Liberia Africa with my church. If you are like me your first thought was um, I know where Africa is [but Liberia?]..... just look at the pictures below:

you can also see the google earth image of where we will be here:

View Larger Map

My church has committed tow partnering with Water of Life ministries to work with these villages for the next I dont know how many years (a bunch?). This trip is one of the first ones in which we will be 1) digging and rehabilitating wells to bring clean water to these villages 2) hosting free open air medical clinics (my mom is an RN, and there are is a doctor going as well) and 3) seeing how Southside can strategically partner with these people to serve them and bring them the Gospel.

Please pray for us, there is a financial need for some of us (I know me for sure, but I am not sure where exactly everyone else is at), $3,000. Also for goodness sakes none of us are good enough, or qualified to be Christ's ambassador Liberia. I often feel like Moses trembling before the burning bush, but the reality is (as it was with moses) that God made our mouths and he will be glorified in spite of our inadequacies. He has even ordained to use us to accomplish his purposes! Although I am not really sure what to expect or how he will be praised, I know for sure that he will be glorified. I want you to see that, and be apart of it through prayer.

Thanks in advance for your prayers, and I look forward to letting you know how He answered them. I will also post a picture of the team when I get one.

nerdy theology

2007-12-31T00:32:00.000-05:00

So I am a nerd, it is true. However that has proven to be a blessing when it causes me to study scripture. Right now I am studying the theological significance of Jerusalem after Gen. 14. and before David conquers it from the Jebusites. Here is something that I thought was interesting.

1) Genesis 14- Abraham meets Melchizedek the king of Jerusalem (or Salem), and honors him (cross reference Hebrews 7). Melchizedek points to christ.
2)Genesis 22-Abraham almost sacrifices his son on Mt. Moriah (or the land of Moriah). The Lord used this instance to point to the coming sacrifice of his son.
3)The Israelites saw Jerusalem in a favorable light because they took Adoni-Bezek there to die (Judges 1), as well as the head of Goliah (I Samuel 17)
4) The angel of the Lord relented from destroying Jerusalem at the threshing floor or Arunah the Jebusite 2 Samuel 24:16, which is what david later bought, and ended up being the location of Solomon's temple. The threshing floor of Arunah (or Ornan), was the on Mt. Moriah (II Chron 3:1), which is where the messianic foreshadow of a perfect sacrifice was made during Abraham's time. God gave us an OT picture of his son's perfect sacrifice, on the exact spot that all the millions of sacrifices for the next 500 years would be made. I doubt that is a coincidence.

So prior to the presence of the Lord there, there already was some sort of significance to that city. I thought it was interesting. If that does not interest you I will fight you.

im in america

2007-10-24T22:54:00.000-04:00

so im in America right now. I have been for awhile. im all healed. my mom got so mad at me because i started training for a 10K 4 weeks after surgery. i was supposed to wait 12. I decided im going to use this blog not just for traveling, but for other cool things. I dont think anybody reads it (i wouldnt), so its more for myself just to remember the Lord's faithfulness, and see how he has blessed me.

Stil here!

2007-07-25T01:39:00.000-04:00

hi everyone! Sorry it has been so long since I posted anything. I have a really good excuse, but i will get to that later. As for my friend that I told you about, everything went very well, however repentance comes over time. The work is not instantaneous. The team all left 2 days ago, and in retrospect, I am so happy about they way it turned out. The team did great, and ALOT of work was accomplished.

Now you may have noticed that I said I was still here, and the team left. 6 months ago I had a pain on my right side. The pain eventually went away, so I never thought about it again. Naturally (at least for me) I did not see a doctor either. About 2 and a half weeks ago I got a stomach ache. I was expecting this, because everyone gets sick in this country. I was actually surprised it took so long, but either way I was not going to let it slow me down. One day I woke up and the stomach ache was so bad it was difficult to walk. Nevertheless I pressed on, and tried not to think about it. That night it got very very bad, and I was not able to sleep that night. The following morning, I was nearly screaming in pain. So we decided to go to the Emergency Room. My friend here is a medical doctor, so he knew where to take me and everything. Turns out I had a very bad appendicitus (sp?). My appendix was inflamed and spewing puss and nasties all over my other organs. So I went into surgery, got ripped out, and spent the next 5 days in the hospital. The team left while I was in the hospital. Here are the praises:

1)I was in the best hospital in Delhi
2)The entire bill cost only 1500. Everything is cheap here
3)I had great nurses, and doctors.
4)Because i was American they gave me the VIP suite, which was very nice.
5)The Lord is really using this to teach me.
6)I am alive, and the day of the Lord is at hand!

Requests:
1) I missed my flights, so now i have to rebook everything, and it is very expensive.
2) Because I wait tables, doc said it might be up to a month before I can work again. So pray that I find a job or something, as I now owe over 3,000.
3) in a few hours I am going to the office to rebook my ticket, please pray that It goes smooth. Nothing goes smooth here.

I really appreciate the encouragement from all of you that had already heard, thank you so much. Please let me know how I can lift you up, and serve you as well.

Robby

PS Ca. friends, i will be in town for a few days, we can try and catch up.

Outreach this weekend

2007-07-11T15:02:00.000-04:00

This morning was straight out of a movie. I woke up, and went to the fresh fruit market down the road. It is mango season, so i bought 3 different kinds of mangos, a pomegrantte, and a coconut to drink. I also had guava juice, it was quite possibly the best breakfast I have ever had and it was just over a dollar.

After my breakfast from heaven, we set off to Delhi Universtiy. We invited 200 students to come to a progam we are puting on this Saturday. There will be singing, dancing, food, and Americans. Everyone was very excited, and we are expecting a large turn out. We are also continuing a conversational English class in the evenings, which has opened up opportunities to share with people. Please continue to lift up both of these programs.

We also have another person staying at our flat. He is a brother and has had to move home to Bangalore for financial reasons. His parents are very prominent in the community, and his choice to repent and turn from sin has caused his family shame. Therefore they have told him that he must choose between HIM and between his family. Please lift up this brother, as he is going through a very difficult time.

Also please remember my friend. I met him on my first trip 5 years ago, and we kept in contact. I have told him many times about HIM, but it is a very slow process. This sunday we are going to get coffee together, and he has said that he will come to our sunday meeting, please lift him up as well.

My spell checker isnt working so please disreegard the spelling errrors.

Robby

A 3 day trip down south.

2007-07-07T23:23:00.000-04:00

This last week we went to the south end of the city, for a blvrs conference. I lead a small group, and Doc (Dr. Tom Halstead is the head of biblical studies at The Master's College, but we just call him doc) taught through the book of Daniel. We leared about the future God has for Israel in the Millennium....... It was very encouraging to spend time with relatively likeminded brothers and sisters from all parts of the globe. The best part of the whole trip was the resort we were staying at.

There are no American toilets in this part of India. You must merely squat, aim and hope for the best. However in my time of greatest need I found one. As I proceeded toward my bounty, I steped in a large puddle around the toilet that splashed my ankles. I decided that i would rather not think about it, and just lift my legs straigh out as i sat. Once i finished i proceeded to the "paper work," only to find that there was no paper to use.... Upon I overcoming this hurdle, I flushed. Now must toilets have a pipe behind them that connects to a sewage system of some sorts. This however was armed with a pipe that was connected to nothing. So as soon as I flushed, the toilet drained onto the floor around my feet. All I could do was mutter a HOLY FREAKING CRAP (no pun intended), and jump onto the toilet seat. As I stood there surrounded by "surprises" i reminisced of my childhood when my favorite pasttime was trying to avoid the imaginary hot lava all over the living room floor. The stall filled up, and overflowed into a community puddle of old shower water in middle of the bathroom. It was literally a cesspool of filth. Everytime I took a shower, or I should just say, the one time i took a shower, I the drain backed up old shower water, and i had to finish before the water went above the rubber part of my sandle.

All of these things mingled with 100 degree +humidity heat, bugs in our beds, and many other things lent to me developing an attitude of ungratefulness, and a complaining spirit. I read Psalm 103, and the Lord changed my perspective. Even if i stayed at this "resort," for the rest of my life, i stil had no reason to complain. The rest of the master's team, was a great example to me as to what it looked like to have a grateful spirit. The girls even had a flooded room, and yet still praised the Lord. The trip down south was truly a blessing in many ways, and I would gladly do it all again if the Lord would allow.

I do apologize for the slightly crass post, and I promise all of my stories will not be centered around the bathroom! I will also post some pictures in the next day or two.

This is India

2007-07-02T23:01:00.000-04:00

We are officially here! 4 airports, and 36 hours later, we finally have arrived in Delhi! We are very grateful, because the flight was very easy, and I actually got a significant amount of sleep. During the last leg of our flight however, we awoke to a "pleasant" surprise.

We got off in Delhi, flew through customs, grabbed our bags, and jumped in the van. Our driver assured us that he knew where our hostel was...... We learned quite quickly that he had no idea where to go. After driving the wrong way down one-way roads, multiple 5 point turns into on coming traffic, a few stops on the side of the road to ask for directions, we began to assume that he did not in fact know where we were going. Then we ran out of gas. The funny thing however was that our driver tried to play it off like nothing was wrong. We were in neutral slowing down (AC died), and he promptly assured us that we were just "going slow." Then we stopped, and he just sat there as if nothing was out of the ordinary! We finally convinced him that something was wrong, and he set off to retrieve some diesel. We all got out of the van, and experienced Delhi's monsoon season, as it began to POUR rain... on top of my bags that had been placed on the roof of the van. 30 mins later he returned and we went set out on our way. This is India, and I love it.

Please continue to "remember" us, as we are overseas. I will be preaching this Sunday, which will be completely worthless if he is not with me. Thank you for all your support!

Robby

The summer

2007-05-09T07:16:00.000-04:00

Well, It is 4:15 in the morning. The best time to finish studying for an 8am exam! In about 6 hours I will be officially done with college. It is kind of hard to believe. As for team India we recently put on a huge garage sale to raise money for the trip. A very generous lady named Midori offered to donate 50% of the profits of her garage sale if we did all the work. The Lord truly blessed our efforts and allowed us to raise well over $500! It was also a great experience as a team that served to crystallize what exactly it looks like for us to work together. 2 women in our group thankfully took it upon themselves to market the garage sale at a very busy nearby intersection. Arrayed in quite possibly Los Angeles' most flamboyant hats they danced (or swayed rhythmically if you are from Master's where dancing IS in fact the unpardonable sin) the day away demanding the complete attention of everyone passing by. There is no doubt in any of our minds that this was the foundation of our success!

Within the next few weeks, 2 people from our team will be going over early to begin serving with Peter and Heather. They will be there all summer so please remember to "lift them up."

In short the semester is over, as well as most of our preparation. We are only waiting to actually go!

Little Delhi

2007-03-04T14:35:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was interesting. The team caravaned down to South LA and found ourselves in a little neighborhood affectionately called 'Little Delhi.' After driving for an hour through the heart of Los Angeles soaking in some of the finest Stop-and-Go traffic, we finally arrived. I personally hadn't eaten all day, and with every bump and jolt of the LA freeway my hunger grew ravenously. (You know I am an American when missing breakfast constitutes 'ravenous hunger'). We all piled into the Little India Grill, and between the 7 of us, we took up no less than half the restaurant. Clearly American (the white skin is a dead giveaway) we resolved to eat 'Indian style.' This means right hand only (the left hand is used for 'cleaning') and no silverware. Thankfully though we were served things like rice, yogurt goat curry, Dal-Mahkani (thats Hindi for messy food). Although each one of us seemed to be taken aback by the extent of our abilities, the Indians didn't seem as impressed. Our turban clad Sikh Chef would continually provide Naan (a heavy tortilla style bread used for picking up the food) fresh off the Tandoori Grill. As soon as it was on the table I would grab it while it was still warm....and consistently burn my fingers. By the time the spices began to set in we were finally given our tea. This is not sweet tea, but hot Chai. Although it was very different, each person seemed to enjoy, or at least pretend to enjoy, the experience.
Our first authentic Indian meal whet each of our appetites for this summer. Although Little Delhi was still vastly different from New Delhi, it is a perfect bridge between American and Indian Culture

India's infanticide

2007-02-24T05:03:00.000-05:00

NEW DELHI - The Indian government plans to set up a series of orphanages to raise unwanted baby girls in a bid to halt the widespread practice of aborting female fetuses, according to a senior government official.
Dubbed the "cradle scheme," the plan is an attempt to slow the practice that international groups say has killed more than 10 million female fetuses in the last two decades, leading to an alarming imbalance in the ratio between males and females in India, Renuka Chowdhury, the minister of state for women and child development, told the Press Trust of India news agency in an interview published Sunday.
"What we are saying to the people is have your children, don't kill them. And if you don't want a girl child, leave her to us," Chowdhury told the agency, adding that the government planned to set up a center in each regional district.
"We will bring up the children. But don't kill them because there really is a crisis situation," she said.
On Sunday, police arrested a gynecologist and janitor at a hospital near the central Indian city of Bhopal after the discovery of nearly 400 bones from fetuses and newborns in a pit behind the hospital. It is believed they are the remains of unwanted baby girls.
Many districts in the country of more than 1 billion people routinely report only 800 girls born for every 1,000 boys. According to the latest census figures in India, the number of girls per 1,000 boys declined from 945 to 927 between 1991 and 2001.
Asked if the scheme would not encourage parents to abandon female infants, Chowdhury said: "It doesn't matter. It is better than killing them."
Discrimination against girls stems from the low value attached to females in Indian society. Girls are seen as a burden on the family, requiring a large dowry which many poor families cannot afford. Females are generally the last to be educated or to get medical treatment.
Tests to determine the gender of a fetus are outlawed in India and the government says it is clamping down on doctors who break the law.
But social activists say there are many loopholes which allow those who provide tests to remain free. Since the law was enacted in 1994 only one doctor has been convicted.
Chowdhury did not say how much the orphanage plan would cost but said money had been allocated in the next budget for it. Officials in her office could not immediately be reached for comment Sunday. It was not clear when the first orphanages will open

I just copied this from the associated press and pasted it here.

PGO retreat

2007-02-21T04:40:00.000-05:00

PGO stands for Preparation for Global outreach, only the 'P' is silent. Last weekend was our PGO retreat. The term "retreat" is far beyond misleading. We began by sharing our stories of how we came to know HIM, while eating rice with our hands Indian style. Later that night as a team we went to a local movie theater to share "our story" with anyone who would listen. The outcome was very encouraging. Although nobody made any form of a profession, it was a blessing to begin to see how this team functions.

By the time this was all over, I was tired and very excited to get to bed. However this excitement disappeared when the security guard woke us up and made us move to another place.....immediately. I didn't care I just wanted my precious sleep. We were transferred to another classroom, and to my great surprise a bored student earlier that day had decided to pick his toenails where I was now trying to sleep. I began to brush away about 12 clippings, but with each stroke it seemed the nails would only cling tighter to the stain ridden carpet. I was at a crossroads. "Should I put my bedding down, hoping they don't poke through to my chest? Or should I continue in futility trying to move them?" My body was too tired to continue, so I placed my thin bedding down, and began to sleep.

The next morning we had a gourmet breakfast of peanut butter and jelly burritos. After looking in the box, and finding no utensils, we unanimously decided to use the 10 gifts God gave us (fingers) . Just as we finished making our burritos, we found the forks, knives, and spoons. Stupid stupid stupid. 1 hour later i found myself licking the skin between my thumb and pointer finger, trying to finish up the last remains of jelly residue. mmmmmmm.

This is only the beginning.

Revelation 21:8

2006-11-08T18:06:00.000-05:00

the first one listed to be thrown in the lake of fire is the cowardly...