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I had a great blog entry that got deleted. So im going to try to remember, and write it again.
I took a 30+ hour train ride across the country. It was wonderful. Below my bed there was a Punjabi Sikh man. I could tell he was a Sikh because of the meticulous way he wrapped his turban so as to accentuate the prominent bulge of hair that had never been cut. He wore a solid metal silver bracelet to maintain balance and harmony. His graying beard was very long but tied up under his chin in the traditional Sikh way. He shared that he also carried the religious knife, and wore the religious underwear. In reference to said underwear he explained, “I wear the brief kind, not the French kind so if I take pant off now- no problem.” Thankfully he didn’t elaborate.
He was a very kind man, always making sure I was safe and as comfortable as possible. He was very moral, as most Sikhs are, and extraordinarily sincere in his pursuits. The snapshot of his life that I saw on the train was easily more moral than the average Christian’s. At one point I looked at him and was stunned by the fact that same “kind” man would one day look in the face of God in complete horror as he is told that he had never been known by God. So I asked the father for an opportunity to share
About halfway through our journey as I began to mix my rice and curry by hand he said to me “you have a very good opportunity!” I paused and asked him what he was referring to and he explained that he was going to spend the next hour giving me a class on Sikhism. I realized this was an answer to my previous prayer and indulged him. He began like this “6 day creation is bullsh*t. The bible is bullsh*t.” This led into an hour log tirade of head bobbing and hardly intelligible logic.
He continued at breakneck speed for the entirety of the conversation. I noticed he was slightly dehydrated because as he spoke small beads of foamy spit would form on his lower lip until large enough to be launched by the next aspirated syllable. From time to time I would interject loaded questions (i.e. in reference to the statement “everything must be proved scientifically” I asked “can you prove history, math, or even that statement scientifically”) but it was clear he was only waiting for his next moment to begin talking, as his responses rarely had any relevance to my questions.
Eventually I remembered his unhindered candor at the offset of our conversation and thought I would return the favor. So mimicking his boldness and illogical and non-linear progression of thought I gave the good news. I just said it. I didn’t lead into it. I didn’t butter him up for it- I just said it. From my perspective it couldn’t have been more ineffective, however that’s not my role.
The entire conversation reminded me of Psalm 114 and Christ’ allusion to in when he said “they have ears that do not hear, and eyes that do not see.” That Punjabi man had become as lifeless as the idol he worshipped, so much that the words of life (john 6) were anything but intelligible to him. I’m going to do the best dang job that I can- but the Lord changes hearts.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
surgery and christmas and stuff
Well i have gotten very lax with this. Im a schmuck. I think most of you know that i had surgery back in december. But over the last month the Lord has been working through that with me.
See i had a hernia. its a laparoscopic operation (google it). However halfway through the surgery (its a 45 min procedure that took 4 hours) i woke up and look down and see a 9 inch incision, the skin all pulled back and a giant hole. I was drugged so all i thought "hmmm that doesn't look laparoscopic"
When i woke up i called the nurse and said "was this done laparoscopically?" she assured me that it was, but i didn't believe her. So i took off all the gauze and tape and sure enough it wasn't. So i dinged my bell until she came back and showed her the incision and asked "does this look laparoscopic?" She just shrugged and walked away. That frustrated me.
Then i wasn't able to pee. I was on an IV and went 20 hours without peeing and had almost 2 liters of pee built up. In the middle of the night another nurse thought increasing my IV would force it out. Anyway it was very very painful because it put pressure on my incision.
Then the doctor came in and couldn't figure out why it was hurting so bad so he kept poking me in the most painful part of the cut and saying "does that hurt?" I'm literally shouting in pain saying you "think im faking this? ive never hurt like this before." then he says "this shouldn't hurt though" and he does it half a dozen more times.
Ok so the whole thing didn't really fill me with christmas cheer but this is what happened. God gave me an opportunity to represent him and show his love. He gave me opportunities to share with the doctor and the nurses. However instead i was frustrated, and when he was poking me i was very angry. What scares me is that when i was put in a difficult situation unrighteous anger came out instead of the aroma of christ.
Now you might be rolling your eyes saying "cmon robby." here is what happened though, nurses would come in and ask "how are you?" I would pause and say "well lets think about that. If I was doing well do you think i would be here right now?" That is one of the worst responses possible. If I really believe that Christ's love is REALLY better than life i would live like it when it was hard.
So all that to say, I was very disappointed with myself in that whole thing and i have asked the Lord for a second chance. I am also praying that he will purge that attitude from my heart. That he will transform me. When you crush a grape, juice comes out- not oil. I want the same to be true of me- when things get difficult the only thing to come out of my mouth being christ. pray for me. thxx.
See i had a hernia. its a laparoscopic operation (google it). However halfway through the surgery (its a 45 min procedure that took 4 hours) i woke up and look down and see a 9 inch incision, the skin all pulled back and a giant hole. I was drugged so all i thought "hmmm that doesn't look laparoscopic"
When i woke up i called the nurse and said "was this done laparoscopically?" she assured me that it was, but i didn't believe her. So i took off all the gauze and tape and sure enough it wasn't. So i dinged my bell until she came back and showed her the incision and asked "does this look laparoscopic?" She just shrugged and walked away. That frustrated me.
Then i wasn't able to pee. I was on an IV and went 20 hours without peeing and had almost 2 liters of pee built up. In the middle of the night another nurse thought increasing my IV would force it out. Anyway it was very very painful because it put pressure on my incision.
Then the doctor came in and couldn't figure out why it was hurting so bad so he kept poking me in the most painful part of the cut and saying "does that hurt?" I'm literally shouting in pain saying you "think im faking this? ive never hurt like this before." then he says "this shouldn't hurt though" and he does it half a dozen more times.
Ok so the whole thing didn't really fill me with christmas cheer but this is what happened. God gave me an opportunity to represent him and show his love. He gave me opportunities to share with the doctor and the nurses. However instead i was frustrated, and when he was poking me i was very angry. What scares me is that when i was put in a difficult situation unrighteous anger came out instead of the aroma of christ.
Now you might be rolling your eyes saying "cmon robby." here is what happened though, nurses would come in and ask "how are you?" I would pause and say "well lets think about that. If I was doing well do you think i would be here right now?" That is one of the worst responses possible. If I really believe that Christ's love is REALLY better than life i would live like it when it was hard.
So all that to say, I was very disappointed with myself in that whole thing and i have asked the Lord for a second chance. I am also praying that he will purge that attitude from my heart. That he will transform me. When you crush a grape, juice comes out- not oil. I want the same to be true of me- when things get difficult the only thing to come out of my mouth being christ. pray for me. thxx.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
A cow and a bicycle.
How much is your daughter worth? Now I'm single so i know the question isn't nearly as potent for me, but nevertheless it still strikes a nerve. One of the leaders here gave me a biography of a lady named Phoolan Devi- the Al Capone of the 80's here. I will spare you the details, but when she was 11 she was sold for a cow and a bicycle to a 31 year old man as his wife. The journalist writing the book asked her mother the question that comes to everyone's mind "why?" Her mother could only say one line "it is a scary thing what poverty will make you do." See at the time they were in the middle of a land dispute which as farmers was their only source of income. They were hungry, and had no food for their daughter or themselves. Their rational was, sure this man will abuse her, but is that worse than starving to death? They couldn't provide for their daughter, and this man said he would at least feed her.
Can you imagine asking yourself that question? "which is better for my daughter? To give her to a man that will molest her? or let her starve to death?" I cant.
Now for the sake of honesty and clarity, this although much more common here than in the west is not something that everyone goes through. Not every villager is faced with these issues, but many are. I want you to have an accurate picture rather than simply a dramatic one.
Can you imagine asking yourself that question? "which is better for my daughter? To give her to a man that will molest her? or let her starve to death?" I cant.
Now for the sake of honesty and clarity, this although much more common here than in the west is not something that everyone goes through. Not every villager is faced with these issues, but many are. I want you to have an accurate picture rather than simply a dramatic one.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Instant
Yesterday was christmas for me. My wonderful family sent me a HUGE box of happiness. Things like Mac & Cheese, toilet paper, theology books, Starbucks, and a 'fresh' pair of rainbows. Honestly I don't think there could have been a better care package. They really do know me.
This morning my roommate was looking at everything and he didn't know what any of it was. So I said um, this is a bag of beef jerkey you open the bag and eat it (beef is his favorite so its ok). This is instant grits you just add water. This is instant coffee, you just add water. He looked at me totally confused and said "What does 'instant' mean?" He is very good at english but the idea of instant is completely unheard of here. So I said i would show him.
I boiled some water and added it to instant grits and in about 10 seconds we had breakfast. He was shocked. He said thats food?!?! Already?!?!? Its like magic!! Then I said "do you want a cup of coffee?" and I poured the rest of the boiling water into a cup of instant starbucks (which is actually really good- try it). He laughed and laughed saying "here 1 meal takes one hour to prepare!" Then he said something very interesting he said "no wonder it is so difficult for foreigners to come to my india."
I think he really hit on something there. See I don't care if I have to wait for the bus, or wait at the market or the bazaar or whatever. But because I come from an instant culture it is hard for me to some days to not understand this culture to the extent that i want to. See the first few months I learned a lot of simple things. Don't shake with your left hand, bobbing you head means yes, drive on the left side etc. Those are easy lessons that can be learned instantly. However really understanding and becoming like this culture takes much much longer. Thinking like them, laughing like them, reasoning like them that doesn't happen by "just adding water." It takes time, it takes relationships, and it takes abiding in Christ. These are the things I want to learn/become and often i want it instantly.
A few months ago I was in Philly with my friend Phil. We went to the Art museum. He is very gifted with art (his cd ghosts of the great highway is one of the best i have heard in 2009). Now part of the time i walked around the Museum and said "oh that picture is nice that one is nice" based only on my appreciation of the aesthetics. However when he walked with me he would give me the background behind each painting. Once he explained to me that some of the artists were actually communicating a very strong message (often a very rebellious message) some of the paintings I didn't enjoy previously became remarkably beautiful because I knew how to understand them. I think it is this way with culture also. I can look at it and appreciate it for what is on the surface, but i want to understand why this culture has been painted this way. What each stroke is communicating.
Not sure if that makes a lot of sense, and forgive me if I am taking the analogy too far, but i think it is a fair illustration of life here.
r
This morning my roommate was looking at everything and he didn't know what any of it was. So I said um, this is a bag of beef jerkey you open the bag and eat it (beef is his favorite so its ok). This is instant grits you just add water. This is instant coffee, you just add water. He looked at me totally confused and said "What does 'instant' mean?" He is very good at english but the idea of instant is completely unheard of here. So I said i would show him.
I boiled some water and added it to instant grits and in about 10 seconds we had breakfast. He was shocked. He said thats food?!?! Already?!?!? Its like magic!! Then I said "do you want a cup of coffee?" and I poured the rest of the boiling water into a cup of instant starbucks (which is actually really good- try it). He laughed and laughed saying "here 1 meal takes one hour to prepare!" Then he said something very interesting he said "no wonder it is so difficult for foreigners to come to my india."
I think he really hit on something there. See I don't care if I have to wait for the bus, or wait at the market or the bazaar or whatever. But because I come from an instant culture it is hard for me to some days to not understand this culture to the extent that i want to. See the first few months I learned a lot of simple things. Don't shake with your left hand, bobbing you head means yes, drive on the left side etc. Those are easy lessons that can be learned instantly. However really understanding and becoming like this culture takes much much longer. Thinking like them, laughing like them, reasoning like them that doesn't happen by "just adding water." It takes time, it takes relationships, and it takes abiding in Christ. These are the things I want to learn/become and often i want it instantly.
A few months ago I was in Philly with my friend Phil. We went to the Art museum. He is very gifted with art (his cd ghosts of the great highway is one of the best i have heard in 2009). Now part of the time i walked around the Museum and said "oh that picture is nice that one is nice" based only on my appreciation of the aesthetics. However when he walked with me he would give me the background behind each painting. Once he explained to me that some of the artists were actually communicating a very strong message (often a very rebellious message) some of the paintings I didn't enjoy previously became remarkably beautiful because I knew how to understand them. I think it is this way with culture also. I can look at it and appreciate it for what is on the surface, but i want to understand why this culture has been painted this way. What each stroke is communicating.
Not sure if that makes a lot of sense, and forgive me if I am taking the analogy too far, but i think it is a fair illustration of life here.
r
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The little things add up
I just got back from an American family's home tonight. We had an awesome dinner and really just hung out for awhile. It was very interesting to me because I realized a few things. After we prayed we walked into the kitchen to get food and the first thing I noticed was the size of the cups. I know it's weird but just hold on. See American cups are bigger than the vast majority of other countries. There XL size is our small size. So when I got things for my flat I got "normal" size cups (normal=small, we are the weird ones) and they are made out of stainless steel. Everywhere you go plan on drinking out of like an 8oz cup. However this family brought out the HUGE plastic cups and it was wonderful. Its funny the things that you notice when you don't have them.
Its also funny the things that are insulting/complimentary. An American took me aside and asked "how do you bob your head like that?" The culture here shakes their head a little, ok a lot different. I certainly made an effort when i first got here, but don't really notice it anymore. Apparently I am doing it without thinking, as weird as it sounds thats encouraging to me.
r
Its also funny the things that are insulting/complimentary. An American took me aside and asked "how do you bob your head like that?" The culture here shakes their head a little, ok a lot different. I certainly made an effort when i first got here, but don't really notice it anymore. Apparently I am doing it without thinking, as weird as it sounds thats encouraging to me.
r
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Diwali
So yesterday was Diwali. Well technically it lasts for 3 days, but yesterday was the bulk of the celebrations. Diwali is called the festival of lights and is a celebration of the birth of Krishna. It was amazing. See in the states we shoot off firecrackers, but here they call them "bombs." Now I figured that this was just a linguistic thing and maybe they didnt know the english word for firecrackers, or fireworks. False. Many of these were much closer to bombs than any firecracker I have seen. The streets erupted with "bombs" and everywhere we went we now had to dodge these "bombs."
At one point I had just finished my run for the day. I had my ipod in, hands on my head sucking in air, and my eyes closed. All of the sudden there was a flash of light, a burst of wind and the loudest BANG I have ever heard. Naturally i thought I was dying so I hit the deck only to realize that I had walked into a kid's "bomb" throwing path. The kids thought it was hilarious, and lets be honest it was.
We went into town last night and literally people would set up roman candles, strings of firecrackers EVERYTHING in the road. and we would just drive through. However after that it was time for bed. So about 11pm I settled down to sleep. No No, the "bombs" didn't stop until 7 am the next day. A group of kids thought the best place to blow things up would be right below my bedroom window. soooo i dint really sleep.
Anyway Happy Diwali! (its pronounced D'vall-ee)
At one point I had just finished my run for the day. I had my ipod in, hands on my head sucking in air, and my eyes closed. All of the sudden there was a flash of light, a burst of wind and the loudest BANG I have ever heard. Naturally i thought I was dying so I hit the deck only to realize that I had walked into a kid's "bomb" throwing path. The kids thought it was hilarious, and lets be honest it was.
We went into town last night and literally people would set up roman candles, strings of firecrackers EVERYTHING in the road. and we would just drive through. However after that it was time for bed. So about 11pm I settled down to sleep. No No, the "bombs" didn't stop until 7 am the next day. A group of kids thought the best place to blow things up would be right below my bedroom window. soooo i dint really sleep.
Anyway Happy Diwali! (its pronounced D'vall-ee)
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Hugs and Stuff
I saw something interesting today. Nobody else found it interesting but me. There were a bunch of Americans in the Cafeteria (canteen) today. One of the girls in their group saw a guy she [I am assuming] she hadn't seen in a long time because she screamed ran across the room and gave him a huge hug. The Americans didn't think it was funny because it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The Indians didn't think it was funny because they were just stunned. See in their culture there is not interaction across sexes beyond a brief conversation. I looked around and the whole room was staring at these 2 people hugging, and they were completely oblivious. It would be about as shocking as a couple making out in the middle of the room would be to us.
I have said it before but I am continually amazed by their hospitality here. They are so patient with us as we stumble through learning their culture.
I have said it before but I am continually amazed by their hospitality here. They are so patient with us as we stumble through learning their culture.
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