Monday, January 31, 2011

i'm sorry

I am finding myself saying these words more and more often.

Yesterday I went to a coffee shop in the city. It has free wifi and $1 cappuccinos. I pulled up and there was a giant septic semi truck sucking poo through a large pipe very loosely connected to a septic tank. I watched the pipe quiver and shake under it’s strenuous load and discerned that I should probably find another place to park (said pipe was spanning the motorcycle parking spots). So I pulled up in front of an adjacent shop. Before I even took my helmet off the owner came out telling me that if I wasn’t going to his shop I HAD to move. Clearly he had been through this routine before and the last remnant of his patience had been taken by the person before me.

I didn’t really know where else to go, and although I wasn’t in the least upset, I made a few sarcastic comments and told him to just let me park there- it would be fine. He wasn’t impressed. The sides of his mustache jumped as he pursed his lips and proceeded to make it very clear that I must move. I surrendered and moved my bike.

Paul calls us the “aroma of Christ,” saying that we “spread the fragrance of knowledge of him everywhere.” I am afraid to that shop owner I spread the fragrance of the poo truck chugging away next to me. As I walked away I realized that I had responded horribly and returned to apologize.

Here if you don’t speak up you won’t be heard. In many ways it is everyone for himself. There are so many people wanting so many things at the same time that unless you push (usually literally) you will never get on the bus, or you will never get you electricity bill paid, or you will be cheated out of a lot of money. I am not justifying my actions, but rather I am trying to figure out what it means to be “the aroma of christ” here.

Right now my internet company is trying to charge me nearly an extra $200 because of some mistakes they made on their end. My flat owner is holding back $40 from my deposit I gave him (20%). The man that serviced my motorcycle disconnected the headlight switch and charged me to fix the started but didn’t fix it. Dozens of people are asking to buy my stuff when I leave each of which wanting a special bargain (all of this is just this weekend). This isn’t abnormal, it is just life. It’s nothing personal- but my question is how do I put on display “the aroma of Christ” in each of these situations. At the risk of over simplifying I think it might be better to be wronged or cheated than to demand what I “deserve.”

Not really sure, just trying to figure out how to glorify Him. Unfortunately much of the time it is trial and error.

voila,



r

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

2 nations in 1

Anyone that has any background with India will immediately tell you how complicated it is. Each state functions virtuously autonomously and proudly maintains its own unique culture. The cultural diversity that encompasses the entire continent of Europe is comparable the diversity within India.

However at the risk of oversimplifying the issue I am realizing more and more that India can primarily be divided into 2 very separate and very distinct nations. The privileged and the unprivileged.

The world is taking notice of India. Companies are shifting their efforts to tap into the supposed market of 1.3 billion people. However when 70% of the nation lives in villages, most without running water water and consistent electricity and 35% can't even sign their own name, the new billboards boasting of 3G networks might as well be in yiddish. When you live hand to mouth on just a few dollars a day the choice between Pepsi and Coke is an unfathomable luxury.

Frankly and sincerely, India has done a very bad job of educating and empowering the masses. This is why countries that got their independence at the same time (singapore, malaysia etc.) have far surpassed India. Even Korea whose economy was in shambles in the 60's has lapped India many times over when it comes to overall development.

The [growing] divide between between the privileged and the unprivileged is so great that the Prime Minster told the UN that it was on par with Apartheid. So when you read about how much India has developed understand it is a lopsided development. Although silicon valley is littered with top graduates from Indian universities, that is in no way an accurate representation of India.

India has done an excellent job portraying itself as a superpower (they even convinced Obama) so much so that the UN is considering giving them a permanent seat. But that development is only representative of 10% of the population.

India is growing fast. But I would submit that unless they make some significant changes-namely to empower the unprivileged they will never live up to the world's expectations.

for what its worth...



r

Sunday, January 16, 2011

well hello monday, back so soon?

I have known for sometime that there were mice living in my AC unit (directly above my bed). They would run around and squeak once in awhile but I wasn't sure what exactly to do so I just hoped that somehow the problem would fix itself.

This morning I woke up at 5:30. Aside from a life or death situation (preferably my own) there is no good reason to be awake at that hour. my reason? The mice were being exceptionally active and chatty. So Manglesh (my roommate) and I cleaned out my room and began to take the AC unit off the wall. Out came 2 bats and about 2 months worth of bat poo. One flew back in, while the other began squeaking and flying around our flat.

I like a total pansy jumped back shouted some choice words and took cover while Manglesh grabbed the broom and began chasing it.

After the bat issue had been somewhat solved (one more is still MIA) I went into the kitchen and found pigeon poo from where they flew in the open window, and water everywhere from where the water tank had overflowed.

I then decided to go back to sleep and try starting monday again in a few hours. I slept too late, threw on dirty (but not stinky) clothes, skipped a shower and forgot to brush my teeth before running out the door.

happy monday.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

the gospel and thinking rightly

This last year I have spent some time thinking about thinking rightly (self deception, wrong views of ourself and others around us etc). I posted some thoughts a few weeks back about our amazing ability to convince ourselves of whatever we really want at the time. For example whenever we re-live an argument we had with someone else we almost always come out the victor- even if we totally lost in reality.

We are fallen. As simple as it sounds I just noticed a few weeks ago that Romans 1 is in the past tense (Claiming to be wise we have become fools and God gave us up to a debased mind). It is not a future potential that if you keep sinning God will give you up (as I have usually been taught), but rather it already happened (I believe at the fall). Essentially our perception of the world around us, and even the nature of truth is subject to our desires. If we want to look good glorious and godly we will fabricate a world around us to that end. If we want truth, and Christ our mind will have no reason to create a false reality.

I have realized that this has everything to do with the Gospel. If we live in the reality that we are loved, forgiven, accepted and even seen as righteous by the only one whose opinion matters we no longer have any reason to twist truth to our own self glorifying end. If we live forgiven (not just know cognitively that we are) there will be no reason to downplay our faults. If we live as though we have his imputed righteousness there will be no reason to draw attention to our own accomplishments. The Gospel is the catalyst to thinking rightly about ourselves and the world around us. Apart from a gospel-centric world view a correct understanding of reality is I believe impossible.

anything intelligent said above was probably plagiarized from Al Mohler and Viv Thomas. I can’t remember where their thoughts end and mine began.



r

Busyness is the new spirituality

It has been sometime since I have blogged. Why? Because I was busy.

My first semester in College I had the bright idea to take Dr. Boyd’s class. I knew he was one of the hardest professors in the department, but I saw it as a challenge. For the first exam I studied for 11 hours (straight) and made a D (the equivalent to less than 40 marks in british/asian grading scales- I think).

I learned something very important about myself though. I realized my goal in studying for so long was not just to learn the material, but to be busy. I felt very good about myself having studied for so long. I also realized that I had subtly told everyone I knew about my hard work so that they could join me in my awe of myself. On top of that, said exam was a Bible course naturally making me quite a spiritual and righteous person.

In contrast to my narcissism, I had a handful of classmates who were quite humble. They quietly studied in their room by themselves seeking to honor the the Lord with their time (in contrast to me who studied in the “lounge” with all my friends). They studied significantly less, did better on the exam and didn’t seek half the attention I did.

After college I worked at a direct marketing firm. I realized very quickly that the correct answer to how are you is always (or at least usually) “busy- how are you?” while communicating non-verbally that limited time was being allotted to this impromptu conversation. This worked perfectly for me because I had learned in college the art of busyness (which in christian circles equals or at least implies spirituality). I maintained a genuine feeling of busyness (sometimes rooted in reality, sometimes not) which made me feel quite valuable.

I look back at the last 2 months and find the same desire for busyness (in myself and others). It takes different forms in different contexts but the root is the same. We all tend to feel very good about ourselves if we are busy. But what I am realizing is God is not impressed. If we worked all 24 hours every single day- he would be as equally [un]impressed as if we did what we are doing now.

I have seen in my heart a desire to be busy to look spiritual and righteous (or at least feel that way). But this completely invalidates the Gospel. He came and died so that I could have his righteousness not my own filthy rags. He died and rose so that I rest and work as a result of his own righteousness imputed to my account- not the other way around. This is why Moses’ father in law said “what you are doing is not good,” why Mary “chose the better way,” and the church at Ephesus had “lost their first love.” (note here that God does not tell the church to stop doing anything but rather acknowledges their hard work and instructs them to start doing something).

There is nothing wrong with busyness. Frankly I would rather struggle with that than laziness. However God is not, and will never be impressed by it. I am beginning to believe more and more that busyness is the breeding ground for idolatry (someone smarter than me said that- but I can’t remember who). Ironically I have also found that when business becomes at least part of our aim our productivity goes down.

Just to be clear if I could do the last few busy months over I would do them exactly the same way. I would not loosen the schedule. But I would maintain constant prayer begging God to search my heart and reveal whether I was pursuing busyness, or his glory. Busyness should never be our aim. The kingdom should. If we are busy for that end that is one thing, but unconsciously pursuing busyness because we are too self deceived to acknowledge it is as profitable as running in circles.

Soli deo gloria


r

Sunday, November 14, 2010

My first kiss went a little like this....

I hate that song (for those that are fortunate enough to not know, the title to this post is a song). When I was in the states I was stunned not by the topic being sung about, but just the stupidity of the lyrics. Admit it. It’s stupid.

I have a lot of work to do. I am trying to finish it before Wednesday, and I am wondering if it will be possible to do so (my uncertainty is reinforced by the fact that I am blogging right now-not working...). So I came to a coffee shop in the city to focus and work but have found myself continually distracted by the stimulants around me.

Child labor. It breaks my heart and I see it every day. As I walked into the shop I was greeted by a 13 year old boy washing the glass door with a piece of old newspaper. He was working as a security guard. He is not in school, and at this rate can expect to remain in poverty forever.

The homeless. Homelessness is quite different here. Everywhere we are told don’t give money to the homeless- its harmful, doesn’t solve the problem etc. I believe there is a lot of truth in that but the man I claim to follow said “give to everyone who asks of you.” there are no caveats- give to everyone who asks of you. As I sat engrossed in my work I noticed a dirty 9 year old boy standing outside the glass window staring at those of us inside. We both knew he was separated by infinitely more than the half inch thick glass. He watched as we sipped our coffees, laughed, and enjoyed the cool AC. Jesus’ words surfaced immediately but before I could get up one of the workers opened the door to shew him away back into the street.

Music. The music is a conglomeration of western/bollywood/traditional[er] Indian. the speakers will throb with a popular flamboyant bollywood dance song only to be followed by “my first kiss...” (I don’t even know who the artist is who sings that song).

Customers. There are 2 girls sitting across from me having a great time laughing and talking. The man to my right keeps yelling “babu!!!” (literally “little brother”), just to make sure they still know he is in control. And I sit here working on a project to mobilize workers to come here.

The contrast between the songs from my country shaking the weary speakers, and the young boy standing outside looking in longingly stuns me. I wonder if this was the image Jesus had in mind when he told the parable of the wedding banquet.

Monday, November 08, 2010

A trip to the barber shop

I am suffering from early onset balding. However I refuse to be a victim and I have decided to take control of my life and show my rebellious hair that I am still in control- by cutting it all off.

This has lead me to quite enjoy my trips to the barber shop. A hair cut and a shave cost right around $2 and have thus become a regular part of my schedule. Today I walked to the barber shop and because of the rain noticed some had left their shoes outside the door. I briefly examined the shoes and then pictured the feet that must have been wearing them. Such a mental picture was just enough to persuade me to [at least] tentatively keep mine on. I walked in and saw the owner, with his shoes on, reading todays Telugu paper. He didn’t seem to notice me so I kept wiping off my shoes on the mat louder and louder. It didn’t work so I cleared my throat. That also didn’t work. So I walked up to him and said “hello. Sir. Yes. I want a hair cut.” This invasion of his personal space got me little more than an exhale out of his nostrils. But I refused to be deterred and began to walk toward the chair. This did the job. He sat up and shouted, “VISHNU!!!!!”

Vishnu is the gentleman that usually cuts my hair. He poked his head out of a back room, and upon seeing me was overcome with what seemed like happiness (or maybe hope for a big tip, but I will tell myself the previous). He was barefoot, wearing slacks and a fluorescent orange polo shirt and assumed the jumping jack position (arms and legs out in 4 different directions). In spite of such an entry still the first thing I notice about him every time is his mustache. It is fair to say that such a mustache could make any man second guess his ability to grow facial hair. Some times I catch myself looking at it instead of his eyes wondering if it could be his own “magic hat” from which he pulls a white rabbit.

He knows my routine, so he immediately set to work. I find haircuts incredibly relaxing, so it is not uncommon for me to close my eyes and begin to doze off. This time I was jolted out of my stupor by a pair of his scissors up my nose. Apparently while trimming my own meager mustache he noticed a few nose hairs. He set to work on those as well with the fervor of a mad lumberjack.

After this he looks at me in the mirror and asks “oil massage?” Of course I couldn’t turn down such an offer (to be fair I thought he meant head massage), and replied in the affirmative. He removed a small bottle of red something from the shelf and lubed up my freshly shaved head until it resembled a greasy ball bearing. This time he got “in the zone” and exceeded all previously set “norms.” He cracked every bone in my neck, back, arms and hands. I have never felt so “loose” (don’t take that out of context) in all my life. I paid the $2.50 for my hair cut and shave, and $1 for the 15 minute massage. Honestly, where else in the world could you get all that for less than $4?

As I walked home I stopped by Satish’s shop. He knows me and lets me keep a tab with him. I paid my previous tab and bought a dozen eggs and some onions. Satish is a smoker and was attacked by his angry lungs as he held my groceries. I took my freshly garnished goods consoling myself with the fact that eggs have shells and onions skin.

This was normal, and I love it. Nowhere else could you experience so much with so little money. Welcome to my life.

Incredible India.


r

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Diwali!

Diwali (dee-val-ee)

I think Diwali might be the happiest time of the year here. The debilitating heat of summer is fading into little more than a memory with temperatures in the mid 70’s every day. Night temperatures dip into what could certainly be considered “cold” or at least “chilly.”

Diwali is called The Festival of Lights. Although certainly true, practically speaking this is not the first descriptor that comes to my mind. I would name it “The Festival of Explosions.”

As I drove in from the city today I swerved around conspicuously placed advertisements for fireworks, each of which proclaimed itself “BEST IN THE WORLD.” At one intersection there was a life size version of Big Foot wielding a sub machine gun. Happy holidays.

Now technically Diwali lasts for 10 days, but it all culminates with a big bang tomorrow evening. People will set candles outside their doors leave gifts of food and trinkets for their favored gods in their domestic shrines. In addition they will paint ornate multi-colored murals all over the ground. At one large bookstore after ascending on the escalator you are greeted with such a flamboyant piece of art. Although certainly beautiful I wasn’t really sure if I should walk on it, or tip toe around it (I chose the latter, I may have been the only one, I don’t know). One of my neighbors will pay homage to the resident ant mound and offer both a mural, and gifts to the ants.

Now my flat (apartment) sits behind 2 restaurants both of which are open very late. Most of the firecrackers will be detonated in the earlier evening, however the employees at said restaurants never want to miss out on the fun and will begin their own celebration around 3am. Beneath my window.

I really enjoyed Diwali last year. With a complete absence of [enforced] laws regarding such explosions the whole city turned into a party of some form. Small children threw strings of firecrackers at busses and cars before running away laughing into their parent’s arms. People filled the streets (during traffic) seeing how long the wick would last before releasing their perfectly timed experiment. I expect this can become a journalist’s thanksgiving as the next day’s paper seemed to be littered with stories of festivities gone awry.

Diwali is tomorrow. boom.


r